


Not Quite Human Anymore

by NikkiWolfe



Category: Captain America, Iron Man - Fandom, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Assassination Attempt(s), Awkwardness, BAMF Tony Stark, Bucky with powers, Depression, Hydra (Marvel), M/M, Mutant!Tony, Slow Build, Slow To Update, Tony Hides Things Again, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony with powers, Top!Bucky, bottom!tony, hurt!Tony
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-16
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-04-21 02:42:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 34,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4811921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NikkiWolfe/pseuds/NikkiWolfe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Stark is not human. At least, not anymore. Hydra wanted to test a new supersoldier serum, but it only worked on people who has a certain characteristic in their DNA. Tony is one of these people. The effect is a lot diffferent then what Hydra had thought and they would do any things to get their hands on him. So now, Tony has to fight off Hydra while trying to keep his secret from his team. He finds help in an unexpected person.</p><p>After the Avengers, but before Iron Man 3. Tony still has the arc reactor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there. This is my first long fic. I mean, I have never written anything more then a thousand words in one piece, and the first chapter of this is nearly 2300 words. I'm actually a little surprised at this. Anyway, I hope you like it.
> 
> Comments and helpful criticism is welcome.

The sun was just rising when Tony Stark pulled himself up from the workshop. He usually would have gone to bed already, but for some reason, he was having a hard time sleeping. Plagued by nightmares, he stayed awake as long as he could but he eventually would have to sleep. So he would take a few sleeping pills and hopefully get a few hours before he woke up, shaking and scared. Then the cycle would begin again. Sleep for a few hours, get awoken by a nightmare, go down to the workshop and work for days on end, then come back up sleep again. Sometimes, there were meetings he had to go to, but others he just skipped. It had become a seemingly endless routine that was wrecking havoc on Tony's well being. Not to mention his attitude. He has become more withdrawn, depressed, and found it harder to talk to people then it has ever been. He puts on a mask to hide what he is really feeling, though the people close to him can see through it easily enough. Rhodey had noticed and had said something vaguely in the direction of “I'm here if you need it,”. Tony had told him that he was fine, but he could tell that Rhodey did not believe him.

When he reached his floor, he was not surprised to see Pepper waiting for him. Pepper had been an amazing person ever since the New York attack. Even though she was still angry at him for flying a nuclear bomb into a portal, and almost dying, she stayed by his side supporting him through the tough times. He loved her for that. He knows that he can trust her to take care of him, and his company. They had tried their luck at a relationship, but it didn't quite work out. They still remained close, just not as close as Tony would have liked.

“Pep, how's it going?” He walked over to where she stood and gave her a light kiss on the cheek. She returned the gesture, but he could tell that something was bothering her. “What's wrong?”

“You haven't seen the news lately?” Pepper did not look surprised at this. Instead she flicked her wrist, and a couple holograms appeared before them. 

The news footage was from Washington, the SHIELD headquarters to be exact. Tony frowned, and made the image bigger. Three helicarriers had been deployed, shot at each other and crashed into the surrounding river. He recognized his work in the repulsor technology, and it made him frown. He did remember working with SHIELD to build them, but he was told that there would only be one helicarrier, not three. And why had they shot each other out of the air? He read some of the headlines, and raised an eyebrow at the name that popped up several times. Captain America was not someone Tony would have thought this attack had any relation to. He also saw that SHIELD has been officially shut down. Not that he was surprised. After their stunt that they played in New York and the nuclear bomb, he had been wanting to shut them down himself. 

“Hmm,” Tony didn't really know how to explain what he was feeling at the moment, so he brushed it off. “Well, it had to happen sometime,”

“Tony,” Pepper said, the tone of her voice reflecting the disappointment that she felt. She had thought that Tony would show a little bit of emotion, even if it was anger. She was getting worried about him. He seemed less....Tony. He didn't go to parties, he didn't drink much, and spent most of his time in his workshop building more and more suits. She knew that he was hurting, but she didn't know how to help him. She just wished that he would talk to her. “I know that most of the people who worked for SHIELD are now out of jobs, and was wondering if we may offer some of them jobs here at Stark Industries. Security, Tech support, or even management. We could use some of their expertise,”

Tony didn't like the idea of having ex – SHIELD agents working in his building, but he supposed that it might do his company some good. Since Pepper thought that they needed them, he would go along with it. He would watch the new employees carefully though. He would have to put up some extra protection of his firewalls to make sure that they didn't get access to some of his more sensitive materials. 

“Fine. Hire whoever you think would be good. Now is that all? I'm kinda tired and would like to get some sleep.” 

“Just to remind you that you have a board meeting tomorrow at one that you cannot miss so I will be here at noon. This one is about the activation of some of the arc reactors. You need to be there to give your approval.” Pepper handed him a tablet with all of the meeting details on them.

“Aww, Pep,”

“No whining,”

“But-”

Pepper gave him one of her signature looks that shut him down pretty quickly. He knew better them to argue with her. So he surrendered and said that he would go. She gave him one last look before taking her leave. He watched her go, and groaned when she was out of earshot. He really did not want to go. He knew that he could trust pepper to make the right decisions, but since he was the owner of the company, he needed to make all of the major decisions. And this was one decision that he had wanted to make. The activation of the arc reactors promised a future run on clean energy. He just didn't want to sit around in a room filled with people who had no idea about the technology, and only knew business. It was a good thing that Pepper is there for all of the meetings or else he would be lost. His world was building and creating, not politics, and negotiating. 

“Jarvis, time?”

“Nine forty – seven pm.”

“Thanks,” Tony made his way to his room. It was a little earlier then he was used to, but he was tired and need to sleep if he was going to make the meeting tomorrow. He made it to his bed and threw himself onto it not bothering to change. He didn't think he would be able to without falling asleep halfway through it. Plus, he didn't really care. The exhaustion had caught up with, and he was finally able to sleep.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *~

_Explosions rang out, as well as screams and the sound of metal on metal. The city was in chaos, the citizens running for their lives as the alien race came through the portal. The team of heroes jumped into the fray, pushing the opposing force back until they could contain them in a single area. With only the two of them in the air, Tony knew that it was up to him and Thor to make sure that they kept the aliens close to the portal to reduce casualties. He zigged, and zagged dodging the flying aliens and their weapons fire all the while killing some of them. He could see that they were barely making a dent in their forces, for every time they killed a dozen, two dozen more enter through the portal. Tony knew that they had to shut the portal down first if they wanted any kind of luck winning this. He had kept the aliens busy, until he heard Natasha tell them that there was a way to close the portal, and that she could do it. He felt hope rise in him, believing that they could win this._

_Though the hope soon disappeared when he heard that there was a nuclear bomb heading for the city. He could not allow this to happen when they were so close to winning. He told Nat to wait on closing the portal. He tracked the bomb, and headed for it. He forced himself to go faster, getting close enough that he could grab it. He steered it towards the only viable target. The portal. He called Pepper, or at least tried to. There was no answer, and that had him more worried then the bomb right next to him._

_When he passed through the portal, he could distantly hear cheering, but he was too busy taking in what was in front of him to listen. The area surrounding the portal was filled with Chitauri, Leviathan, and an even larger ship. He watched in awe as the bomb flew towards the biggest ship, and explode. The hope returned and he smiled a bit. Until he realized something._

_He couldn't breath. The suit could not provide him enough protection from space, and it began to shut down. He gasped trying to pull in some air, but nothing came. He felt his chest restricting as he tried to breath but was unable to. Pain spread through his body as he fell backwards. He tried to fight the darkness, but eventually didn't have the strength. The last thing he saw before he succumbed was the stars, surrounded by the darkness._

Tony bolted upright in his bed, mouth open in a gasp but no air came. He started to panic, chest freezing. Pain spread throughout his body as he attempted another breath. He managed to get a short breath, and soon enough they became easier. It took a few minutes before he was able to push himself up and over to the side of the bed. He held his head in his hands, trying to calm his erratic heartbeat. He should have expected this when he went to sleep. It always happens. 

“Jarvis, time,”

Silence.

“Jarvis?” He looked up at the ceiling frowning. Jarvis never ignores him. The only way that this would happen is if someone had somehow managed to hack him. Tony's eyes darted around his room looking for anything out of the ordinary, but saw nothing. He pushed himself to his feet warily. “Jarvis, you there buddy?”

Still nothing. Tony felt the panic coming back, and a strange feeling that someone was watching him. He would feel better once he was down in his lab figuring out why Jarvis was not responding. He headed toward the door, keeping an eye on his surroundings. He grabbed the door handle and pulled. 

It didn't move.

This time, panic had set in fully and Tony was left tugging at the handle almost frantically. His breath came in short gasps, his body was shaking, and he was convinced that the walls were closing in on him. He didn't know what was going on. Maybe it was just another nightmare. It would not be the first time he 'awoke' from one nightmare just to realize that he was experiencing another. He forced himself away from the door back to the middle of the room. He took a deep breath, and closed his eyes. He concentrated on his breathing, and relaxing his muscles. Pepper had taught him how to calm himself down after panic attacks or after nightmares. It worked, slowly but soon enough he was back to himself. He opened his eyes again, and took a look around for anything that could help him. He didn't know why this nightmare was this way. He just wanted it to end. Maybe if he went back to sleep, he would wake up in the real world. He needed to get out as soon as he could or he might have another panic attack.

Tony moved back towards the bed, but stopped when he heard a small sound. He couldn't place it's source, and it was quiet enough to make him believe that he had imagined it. He shook his head. No, this was just a nightmare and everything happening here was placed to scare him. He made towards the bed, but stopped again. There it was. The sound again. It was almost as if it was trying to match his footsteps. He turned, but didn't get to see anything when an arm wrapped around his chest and arms rapping them against his side. He struggled against the man who held him, but the man was bigger, and most definitely stronger then he was. 

Tony kicked, and screamed trying to get the man to loosen his hold, but it only tightened. He saw something flash past his eyes before something pricked the side of his neck. A wave of warmth flooded through him, and he gave a soft whimper. The warmth spread throughout his entire body, and was growing hotter. The man released him and he collapsed. The heat was almost unbearable now. Tony squirmed on the ground, trying to get some relief but none came. Instead, the heat grew and it had become painful by this point. Tony looked around for the guy who had grabbed him, but no one but him was in the room. Definitely a nightmare then. 

Tony didn't know how long it went on for, the heat constantly growing hotter until he was screaming out. It was bad enough that Tony wished that he would just die to make it end. It felt like it went on for days, before the pain started to lessen. At first he didn't notice, but soon the pain faded into nothing but a memory. A memory that he could still vividly remember. He lay gasping on the floor, shaken and exhausted. He didn't have the energy to get up, laying on the cool floor until sleep came once again.


	2. Chapter Two: Beginning of the Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony goes to the board meeting in a better mood then he was in yesterday. Though something happens on the way home that makes him seek help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Here is another chapter for you. I will try to update it every week, though it might be a bit longer.
> 
> Also, thank you to all who have commented, bookmarked or left kudos for me. It gives me motivation to write more.

“Sir? Miss Potts will be here in twenty minutes,”

Tony cracked open his eyes, and winced at the bright light. He sighed and rolled over. He automatically regretted it when a sharp ache echoed through his body. He frowned. Why would he be...? His eyes flew open and he sat up, ignoring the sharp pain that came with it. He looked around his room in panic, but noticed that it looked the same as it always did. He was in his bed, blankets tangled around his legs, and wearing the same clothes he went to bed in. He breathed a sigh of relief.

The man in his room, the injection, the pain, it was all just a nightmare. 

But it had felt so real...

This made Tony brighten considerably. Knowing that the nightmare could have happened, terrified him. He didn't know why, but he didn't want anything like that to happen again. He knew he had to change his ways. Many people had told him to get some help with his nightmares, while others told him that it was just about how he felt about them, and about his fear. Either way, he knew that it wouldn't be easy to get over it. So the first thing that he planned on doing, is to just jump right into it. He needed to get out and be around people more instead of locking himself up in his lab.

“Jarvis, music please,”

“Yes sir,”

The soft thump of classic rock echoed throughout his room, and he felt his body start to relax. He hopped out of bed and went over to his closet. Since he had a meeting to go to, he needed to dress somewhat better then the old faded jeans and grease stained wife beater. He picked out a black suit, deciding to keep the tie off. He entered the bathroom to have a quick shower, and try to groom himself a bit to make himself more presentable. He dressed quickly, and left his room with a skip in his step. For some reason, the knowledge that the experience from last night was just a nightmare, had made him feel better. 

Pepper was outside his room waiting, and actually looked surprised to see him actually on time. She would usually have to pester him to get out of bed and go to work. But here he was, up and even dressed appropriately. Something was definitely different about Tony today. He seemed to be an entirely different person then he was last night. She didn't know if this was a good thing or not, but she was not going to complain. Nor was she going to tell him that. 

“Ready to go?” She asked.

“Yeah. Let's go. I just hope that these people actually know some of what they are asking.” Tony powered up the tablet that was given to him last night and flicked through some of the stuff that Pepper had compiled for the meeting. It all looked pretty simple to him. Deciding where and when to set up some arc reactors didn't seem as difficult as actually building them, but Pepper said that it was ultimately up to him where they build them. After all, it was his technology. 

“They know that the arc reactor can power an entire city for years, maybe even decades. They know that it is the best thing in clean energy, and is the best hope for a better future,” Pepper replied, her eyes wandering over to Tony every now and then. If it wasn't strange enough that he was ready when he was supposed to be, it was even stranger for him to be interested in a board meeting. She waited until they were in the car before taking a closer look at him.

He had showered and tamed his hair down. There was not lingering smell of grease,. Instead, there was a faint smell of his cologne. The expensive kind of course. His suit was not super fancy, but it also wasn't on of his casual ones. He also looked a lot healthier. The dark circles that had become a permanent fixture on his face, had lessened, and his complexion was not longer pale and sickly. His eyes held intelligence that she had missed so much. To her, Tony seemed to be....happier. She didn't know what had made him change so much in just one night, but she wasn't going to argue with it.

Tony remained silent throughout the entire car ride, going over some of the boards plans for the arc reactor. He had to admit, they weren't half bad. Sure, they still didn't know the inner workings of the reactor, but they did know that they didn't need to put on in every city. He needed to decide which cities needed them the most. After all, he would have to go to each activation site to build, and activate each one. He knew that some of the engineers could do some of the basic stuff, but he wanted to make sure that it was done right. If it wasn't, it could overload and destroy at least a couple city blocks. Similar to what happened with Obie and his bigger reactor. Tony didn't want a repeat performance of this. 

They arrived at Stark Industries within an hour. After the battle in New York, he had remade Stark Tower into the Avengers Tower. All of Stark Industries business goes on in a completely different building that he built. Of course, it had been Pepper's idea to move the company headquarters somewhere else. She didn't like the idea of having the business around the Avengers just in case something leaked from either side. He agreed with her. He didn't want to get both mixed up together. 

The meeting went by faster, and smoother then Tony had imagined. It was quite simple, mainly because the other board members actually agreed with him about the placement of the reactors. They settled on just twelve reactors for some of the bigger cities, like New York and Los Angeles. Tony left the meeting feeling good. This is what he had wanted. To help make a better future. Pepper had decided to go with Tony back to the Avengers Tower. She had watched him throughout the meeting, and was trying to find out what was so different about him. What had changed that made him change? 

“So, how many more meetings like this are coming up?” Tony felt uncomfortable under Peppers gaze. He knew that she saw the difference in him today. He just didn't know what to tell her. He can't just go to her and say 'Hey, I know you have been worried about me recently, but everything is fine now because I had a nightmare last night that made me realize that I need to get better'. Yeah, that would not do well with her.

“There are only two others this month, though I don't think that you need to be there. They are just to finalize what went on in this meeting, and to discuss prices. I can handle those meetings myself. After all, you are not very good at politic's or negotiation.” Pepper flicked through her schedule, noting all the meetings this month.

“That's why I have you though, right?” Tony grinned at her, which caused her to roll her eyes.

“You have me to run the company, yes. But you also have me to help you with anything that you need.” Pepper paused as if she was considering her next words. When she spoke again, he words were slow and soft. “I have noticed that you seem better today then you have in a while. I am not going to ask you what has changed, or why. I'm just happy that you are feeling better.”

Tony felt the over whelming guilt rise up. He knew he had been awful to her for the last couple weeks. He had been awful to everyone around him. This just strengthen his need to be better. He needed to be stronger for his friends, for the ones that needed him. Like the Avengers. They may not have been together since New York, but who knows when the next alien attack might be.

“I'm sorry Pep. I've been having a hard time dealing with some stuff lately..” Tony began, but stopped when he saw Pepper shaking her head.

'Tony. You don't have to explain anything to me. You survived something horrible. You have the right to give yourself time to heal,”

“That's the thing though. I wasn't healing. I was falling apart, pushing myself closer and closer to the edge,” Tony could feel the depression, and hopelessness coming back to the surface, but forced them away. He couldn't let himself fall back into that pattern. “I was easier for me to just give up, and let myself go. I had lost my faith in myself, but more importantly, I lost my faith in life. So no, it's not okay,”

Tony tried to remain calm, but the more he talked, the louder he got. He couldn't explain what he was feeling at the moment. It seemed that the more worked up he got, the more he felt like the world was trying to suffocate him. His chest was clenched, but not in fear or anger. It was as if he had been running. His vision seemed to be sharper, though there were random colors dancing across his field of vision. He could feel something happening inside him, but he didn't feel scared. In fact he didn't feel anything at all. He was just calm. He knew it should bother him, but he just couldn't care at the moment.

“Tony?”

He closed his eyes and just let himself feel. He could see everything, feel everything around him. The cars passing by outside, the breaths and heartbeat of the driver, the particles of oxygen floating around in the car.He didn't know what was going on, but he liked it. He could sense every element and particle around him. 

“Tony!”

And then it was gone. He snapped back into his mind, and opened his eyes. The feelings rushed back into him. The fear, panic, anger, self ressentment. He drew in a deep breath, and looked around him. Pepper was staring at him in worry. She had a hand on his arm, and it grounded him. He took a few more breaths to calm himself. What the hell just happened? Tony didn't know, and it freaked him out. Maybe it was just an effect of how badly he had been taking care of himself.

“Sorry, Pep. I kinda...spaced out,” He looked apologetically at her, but he could see that she didn't believe him.

“That was a little bit more then spacing out. Tony, are you on something right now?”

“What? No,” Tony frowned at her, a little hurt that she would think that. Though he could hardly blame her with what had just happened.

“Are you sure? I mean, you just got this really calm look, and didn't answer me when I called your name a few times. Plus, there was something going on with your eyes, so it must be something,” Her voice was stern, the one that she used when she was trying to get Tony to talk to her. 

“My eyes?” Tony resisted the urge to bring his hand up to his face and touched his eyes. “What happened to my eyes?”

Pepper sighed. They had arrived at the Tower, and Tony climbed out of the car. She followed him out, but stayed near the car. She had to head back to headquarters. “They had a sort of, gold glow to them. It wasn't very bright but it must be something serious if a drug could cause this,”

Gold? That's odd. Tony frowned. “Pep. I told you. I'm not on any drugs, okay. You arrived twenty minutes after I woke up. I wouldn't really have time to take anything. And you have been with me the rest of the time. How could I have taken anything?”

“Well, if you didn't take something, then there is something wrong with you. At least, medically. Promise me you will get it checked out?”

Tony nodded. This was bothering him too, and he wanted to find out what was going on. “Yeah. Yeah I will. I promise.”

Pepper nodded, and got back into the car. Tony went over to her open window, and gave her a smile. 

“Thank you. For being here for me,” He knew that he didn't thank her nearly as much as he should. She gave him a small smile, before the car pulled away. He sighed once again, and headed inside. He should probably try and figure out what was happening to him. He might not have showed it in front of Pepper, but he was freaked out. He didn't like it when every emotion just disappeared. It might have made him feel better, but it also took away his ability to process everything. 

He spent the next few hours doing scans on himself, but he had to be honest. Biology was not his strong suit. He knew he would not be able to do this alone. So he pulled up a number that he was lucky enough to have. He called and listened to it ring. He was getting edgy as the longer it went on. It wasn't until someone picked up that he finally breathed again.

“Hey Bruce. I need your help,”


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony gets a late night visitor that answers a few questions, but also places Tony in a difficult place. Also, his powers finally make themselves known.

Tony paced back and forth in front of the large windows on the top floor, running through many simulations, and ideas that might explain what had happened. Maybe it was some bad food or drink, but he squashed that thought. He had not eaten that morning so it could not be that. Bruce might be able to help. Bruce had told him he would be here in the morning, so Tony had to wait. He had debated whether or not to call Bruce and tell him that it was a false alarm. Tell him not to come, but the thought of a worrying Pepper made him solidify his resolve. He would talk to Bruce, get a clean bill of health, and tell Pepper that there was nothing wrong with him. That he was fine.

Though Tony had a feeling that it wasn't that simple. Something itched in the back of his mind, like he was missing something. He gave up trying to hold back, and made his way over to the bar he had there. A large mirror hung behind the bar, and Tony stopped right in front of it. He placed his hands flat on the surface and stared into the mirror, hoping to see the 'gold' that Pepper had seen in his eyes. He didn't see anything like that, but it had also happened when he had that freaky moment in the car. He grit his teeth, and slammed his hands against the bar. 

Ever since he had gotten back, he had been feeling edgy like there was something he was supposed to know. It had bugged him insistently, but he didn't know what to do about it. It put him on edge, always expecting something to happen. He hated feeling like this, feeling vulnerable. He has always been a man of action so sitting here waiting for Bruce while freaking out about what may be happening to him, was not helping his mental state. He could feel himself falling back into the way he was for the past few weeks, and that was the part that scared him. He really didn't want to be that person anymore.

A flash of heat went through him, and he gasped. There was no pain, but it was surprising. It was different from the last time, but the feelings were similar. His head snapped up, and stared at his reflection in the mirror. He realized that Pepper had been right. His eyes did glow gold though it wasn't the full blown, bright gold that he had imagined. Instead of the entire iris being gold like Bruce's turn green when he Hulks out, there were just flecks. Flecks of gold glimmered in his eyes, but there were also small flecks of copper though a bit less noticeable as the gold. There was also a ring of white surrounding his pupil. This was a lot more then what Pepper had told him. Maybe it was changing, as he was.

The shock was what pushed him over the edge. Unlike the last time this happened, where he didn't feel any emotion at all, for this time fear, apprehension, and panic rushed through him. He didn't understand what was going on, and he really wanted to stop. He closed his eyes to try and calm himself, but for some reason his focus expanded and he could feel everything. Every atom, and particle in the room he could feel. He opened his eyes again, he sucked in a breath. He didn't know how this worked, so he went through his memories trying to find something to anchor him.

Something on the edge of his perception caught his attention. The atoms were different then the surrounding ones, and it took Tony a bit to realize that it was organic material. Something living. He took in the shape, and tensed. There was someone in the room with him. 

He whirled around, but couldn't see anyone. But they were there. Tony could feel every element and chemical of whoever it was. Just because he could not see them, does not mean that he is not there. Maybe he was like Tony, and had an 'affliction' that made him invisible to normal people.

Tony didn't want to speak to this person, but he also didn't like the idea of having this person stare at him. He might also be able to help him understand what was going on with him. It might not have been the best idea to call out a stalker, but he needed some information. “I know you're there. I can sense you. Who are you? What is it that you want from me?”

There was silence for a moment, but he sensed that the man had shifted closer to him, as if studying him. “I was not expecting this. You are a lot stronger that it had been anticipated. They will be pleased to hear that,”

“Who's 'they'?” Tony didn't like the tone of voice that this guy was using, and he was now doubting whether or not it was a good idea to call out this guy. He couldn't physically see him, but he had a feeling that he was being examined by this guy. The idea that he was sent here by someone made his skin crawl. Then a thought hit him. His nightmare last night about being attacked, the guy who attacked him had to be either very fast, or invisible for Tony not to see him. This man now, could have been the one who did this to him. He needed to be sure. “You did this to me didn't you?”

A chuckle, cold and heartless, echoed through the room. It sent shivers down his spine, and made him back away. He didn't like this. He needed to get away. He raised a hand to stop the man from coming any closer.

“Yes, I did. Although I didn't expect it to turn out quite like this. The commander will be pleased when he see's you. It's time for you to come with me. You belong to Hydra now,”

Red hot anger flashes through him at that comment. He has never been one to follow others orders and he definitely does not 'belong' to anyone. The mention that this guy was the cause of his current problems, did nothing but add fire to his anger. He could feel the anger growing, and evolving into something much more dangerous. He could feel it building up, and he knew that he needed to release it or it would destroy him. So he pushed at it, willing it out.

A strange gold light surrounded his raised hand, twirling around his fingers. He looked up at the man, who was watching him in interest. Tony raised his hand higher, pointing at the man. The gold light shot out from his hand towards the man, who ducked out of the way. The light hit the wall, and the resulting explosion shook the room. Tony could sense that the wall that had been hit was dematerializing, which Tony would have believed to be impossible. But he could see the wall falling apart, molecule by molecule as if the bonds between them just disappeared. Gold shimmered across the wall, taking out pieces here and there. Tony knew that there had to be a way to stop it from destroying the entire floor, but his focus was on the man off to the side. He was no longer invisible, but he didn't seem to notice that. He was staring at Tony in shock, and awe. 

“This....this is incredible. This power is beyond our imagination. When I bring you in, I will definitely be rewarded greatly. But don't worry, I won't take you now. You are too uncontrollable at the moment. I will be back later to retrieve you,” He stepped forward, wary of Tony's raised hand. He gave a wink before he jumped out the window. Tony stood still for a split second, before running forward to look. A small parachute was gliding across the sky and landed on another roof.

By this time, Tony could feel the exhaustion beginning. He looked around the room and noticed that the gold shimmer was still going, destroying most of the room. Panic welled up inside him, and he did the only thing he could think of. He pushed at the source of power that was swimming just below the surface. The power swarmed at his finger tips, so he raised his hand. The light this time was darker gold, almost copper in color. He pointed at the wall that had the most damage, and light shot forward. When it it, it had the opposite reaction that the first hit did. Instead of destroying, it fixed. Replacing the molecule bonds, and recreating what it used to be. After a few minutes, the room was back to the way it was before. Even the broken window that the man had jumped out of, was fixed.

Tony felt the power drain from him, and the exhaustion finally caught up with him. Tony slumped down to the floor and rested against the bar. He could barely keep his eyes open. He looked around, seeing no proof that this had actually happened. Maybe it never did. Maybe he had just imagined it.

“You did not imagine anything, Sir”

Tony jumped at the sound of Jarvis' voice. He had forgotten that he could see everything that goes on in the Tower. He should have known that Jarvis' would be watching. After all, if what he said was true, then he would have seen the man. He might actually get to know who it was that Hydra sent after him. They were the ones to do this to him. Tony was a bit frustrated that he didn't know much about them. He guess that he should have paid more attention to the files that were given to him by Shield.

“You saw everything, didn't you Jarvis?” He pushed himself to his feet, ignoring the weariness running through his body. It would not be the first time that he worked when he was exhausted, but he didn't want it to affect how tomorrow with Bruce would go. He moved over towards his room, hoping to get into his bed before he falls asleep. “And you didn't alert anyone?”

“Yes sir. I apologize for that. Somehow, he managed to block my outside signal. I was unable to contact anyone outside the room.” Jarvis sounded guilty, which should not be possible, but Tony let it slide. He didn't feel up for having a talk with him about his feelings.

Tony paused outside his door. Someone managed to hack Jarvis? He highly doubted that. Maybe it was a short range transmitter that blocked any kind of radio contact. No, that would not explain why Jarvis was still able to see into his room, but not contact anyone outside it. “We;re going to have to fix that, buddy,”

“I've put it on the list of things to do. Might I add that you should add getting a good nights sleep and some food to that list, Sir.”

“Yes, I know Jarvis. I'll get right on that,” He couldn't help the sarcasm that dripped from his words. He knew that Jarvis meant well, but he was too tired, both physically and emotionally to deal with this right now. He threw himself onto his bed, and buried himself under the sheets.

“I'm just trying to look after you, Sir,”

Tony sighed., and rolled over onto his back. “I know Jarvis. I'm sorry. It's just been a really long few days, and I just want to deal with all of this tomorrow. I don't know what's going on with me, and it scares me.”

“I know Sir. I am sure that you and Dr. Banner will be able to figure out what is going on with you,”

Tony's eyes widened. He had completely forgotten that he had asked Bruce to help. He was immediately glad that he didn't call to tell him that it was a false alarm. He really could use his help, though he didn't know how much he should tell him. He knew that Bruce would not judge him, but he knew that he would want to tell the other Avengers and Tony could not have that. He didn't want to be kicked off of the team because he could not control this part of him. He knew that there was a possibility that he would not be able to control it, but he needed to try. He needed to make this awful situation into something better. 

No, it was himself that needed to become something better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone who has left kudos and comments. It gives me motivation to write more. This story is probably going to be a long one, at least 15 chapters though probably more. 
> 
> Some of you have asked when Bucky comes in, but he doesn't make an appearance until the end of the next chapter. Sorry about that, but it's part of the plot of the story. 
> 
> Also, some of you might be a little confused at Tony's powers so I'll try to explain them. 
> 
> Tony has two different powers. The first one to appear is his atomic sense. He can sense every atom, molecule and particle within fifty feet of himself, both organic and inanimate. The second could be counted as two separate powers. It's basically just molecular manipulation. He can create, and destroy anything by manipulating the bonds between atoms. I thought it fit him because it is just building and fixing things.
> 
> Anyway, thank you to everyone who has took time to read this. I will continue to update as soon as I can.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce visits, and spends some time with Tony. Bruce tries to figure out how to help Tony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo! Another chapter. And so soon too. You have probably noticed that I don't have a very regular posting time. I just post chapters when I finish them. There are some days that I have no motivation, and some days where I have a lot of it so the time between chapters will vary.
> 
> Also, I am thinking of getting a Beta but I'm not entirely sure how it works. I know that they check over your work for mistakes, but other then that I know nothing. If anyone could help me with this, I would be grateful.

Bruce arrived early in the morning. Not that it bothered Tony much. He didn't get much sleep, always floating in and out of consciousnesses. He had a lot to think about. Sure, the man from Hydra did give him some answers like who did this to him, but it also raised some more questions, like why they did this to him. He wanted the answers to these questions. By the early morning, Tony had been up and about for a few hours so when Bruce appeared, he was ready to just jump right into it. The fear of Bruce wanting to tell the others, took a back seat to his curiosity. 

Bruce gave him a smile, though Tony could see that he was worried. “Hey Tony. It's good to see you again. Though it was a bit sooner then I expected. “

“Yeah I know. I would not have called you if it was not important,” Tony shrugged. He placed his hands in his pockets, and tried to look like his usual self. He didn't want to make Bruce anymore worried then he had to be. 

Bruce stepped closer, dropping his stuff by the couch. It still made Tony feel a bit guilty when he saw how little Bruce actually owned. Tony tried to offer him anything he wanted, but he was declined. Sometimes Bruce's selflessness made Tony feel like a jerk for waving around everything he owned. “Yeah. Pepper called me and told me about what happened. She is worried about you. Well, more worried then usual,”

There it was. The reason why Bruce seemed more worried then he usually is. He should have known that she would call him. After New York, Bruce stayed with him for about a week. He and Pepper had actually become good friends in that time, good enough friends that Pepper and Bruce speak on a weekly basis. “Ah, that would explain why you seem worried. She probably exaggerated everything.” He tried to laugh it off but he could tell that Bruce was not buying his lie.

“Tony, are we not friends?”

“Bruce,” Tony tried to keep the whine out of his voice, but he didn't want to put Bruce in danger. He knew that Bruce would help him no matter the danger, but this was Hydra that he was dealing with. Steve the super soldier could hardly handle Hydra, even with the help of Natasha and some other guy. So what does he, a simple mechanic, have against them? So despite Bruce's successful attempt at making him feel guilty, he wasn't going to tell him everything. Just about his powers, and see if they can come up with a cure of some sorts. “We are friends, but I need you to keep this a secret from the others. They will want to know everything, and I can't tell them everything. At least not yet. I think that it might be best for you to just know the basics.”

Bruce studied Tony for a moment before nodding. He understood Tony's need for secrecy, but he just wished that Tony would trust him. He would do anything for Tony, but he knew Tony's ego refused to let him accept help from other people. He guessed he would have to get answers another way. “Fine Tony. But I want to hear the full story one day. I think that I deserve to know.”

Tony nodded. He knew that Bruce would ask to know, but was glad that he didn't demand to know right now. “Where do you want me to start?”

“The beginning is always good.” The smile on Bruce's face helped Tony relax enough to be able to tell his story. 

He told Bruce mostly everything. He told him about the man in his room, the injection, and the appearance of his powers. He explained what it felt like, what it looked like to him, and what Pepper had said about his eyes. He avoided telling him that the man came back and that he worked for Hydra. He also didn't tell him that the man would most likely be coming back to take him to a Hydra base. That little fact would most definitely make Bruce want to tell the others. Bruce listened to the entire thing quietly, asking no questions. He had gained a frown during his retelling, and it remained even after Tony was done. They sat in silence while Bruce thought over what Tony had told him. Tony was not as calm as Bruce. He was constantly moving while he was talking, either making some sort of hand gestures or pacing back and forth.

After a few more minutes of silence, Tony huffed in nervous annoyance. “So? Think you can help?”

Bruce looked at Tony with concern. What he was just told could have terrible affects on Tony. Or it could turn into something more powerful then it was now. He needed to get a closer look. “Maybe. Would you object to having some tests done?”

“Go ahead. I mean, I want this gone,” Tony stood up and led Bruce toward the elevator. When Bruce was here last time he mentioned having his own lab, so over the next few months when he fixed up the tower he added a lab for Bruce. It was right next to his because he knew that they would probably work on a few things together. 

“Tony,” Bruce paused as if considering whether or not to tell Tony this. But Tony had trusted him enough to tell him about his problem, albeit it was a bit lacking in details. He sighed. “This thing that you have, it might not be reversible.”

“What? You mean I'll be stuck like this forever?”

“Possibly. I will have to do many tests just to see if I can tell what this is. Then even more to determine if it is permanent. This could take a few weeks,” Bruce knew that telling Tony this was a bad idea when a look of disbelief, and fear crossed over Tony's face. He didn't know what it was like for him, but Bruce knew what it was like to live with something that you couldn't get rid of because it was inside him. “But I will try to make it quick and easy for you,”

Tony felt grateful that Bruce didn't ask too many questions about who it was that did this to him on the way to the lab. Only the usual about himself. How are you feeling now? How have you been sleeping? Are you eating? The questions were relatively easy to answer, though it had reminded him that he hasn't eaten in quite some time. He sent a order to a local Chinese place after asking Bruce if he wanted anything. Once they got to the lab, Tony started feeling the nervousness inside begin again. He began fidgeting to give himself something to think of instead of what would be happening. But of course, it didn't help much. 

“Tony?”

Bruce's voice pulled him out of the nervous thoughts, and helped center him. He nodded to convey that he was listening. Bruce went on about all of the tests that he would run. Tony did not really understand some of it, but he listened anyway. Bruce's voice had an affect on Tony. It centered him, and reminded him that even the angriest people can be calm. He jumped up onto on of the lab tables, and settled in. He knew this could take a while. He watched as Bruce walked around the room, taking his vitals, and sometimes attaching monitoring probes to his skin to certain spots. He winced a bit when Bruce took a few vials of blood. He had gotten a bit sensitive about needles after what happened the other night. After Bruce took everything that he needed from Tony, he went to work, completely blocking out everything around him. Tony didn't mind. He checked a few emails, and sent some reports for Pepper. Then he went back to watching Bruce. He liked to watch Bruce work. He didn't understand biology or nuclear physics like Bruce, so he knew he would only be in the way if he tried to help.

It sort of remind him of when he was a child. His father was always working on something, but Tony didn't understand too much of it. His father was an engineer too, but he dealt more with the creation of weapons. Though most of the time he was helping with the search and rescue of Steve Rogers. Tony was more interest in how things worked, how they are put together, and how each and every single piece worked together. He had asked his father to teach a few things, but he was usually too busy to do anything with Tony. So Tony began teaching himself. By the time he was eight, he had created things that outshone some of his father's own creations. He kept them secret though. His father never really understood why he built some of the things he did, and Tony didn't care enough to explain it to him. 

Tony didn't realize that he had fallen asleep until Bruce awoke him several hours later. It was close to dinner time, which shocked Tony. He didn't even dream which was a very rare occurrence. Tony took a glance of the room and saw several holograms up. He recognized some of the pictures, but not others. Bruce looked at Tony like he wanted to ask something but was afraid of the answer he would get. 

Tony pushed himself up from where he had lain on a work table. “Bruce, you want to ask me something so ask. You don't have to be afraid of me or what I will say,”

“It's not that,” Bruce shook his head. “I have a request, but I don't think that you will want to do it,”

Tony laughed trying to lighten up the mood. “There is nothing that I won't do. Well, besides hanging out with Steve. That would bore me to death,”

A small smile appeared on Bruce's face, and it immediately made Tony feel better. “I would like to ask.....I have gotten a lot of data, but I think that it would be easier for me to determine the cause of this problem if I could....see it,”

“See it?” Tony was unsure what he meant for a few seconds. When he realized what he had meant, he got worried. “I don't think that is a good idea,”

“Why not?”

Tony sighed. He didn't want to tell Bruce that he didn't trust himself enough to use his powers around someone he cares about. He could lose control and hurt them. He still didn't know what his powers did to organic matter but from what he saw last night, it could not be good. When he spoke again, his words were slow and careful. “I don't think that it's safe. For you, I mean.”

“You do realize that I am more dangerous then you? I'll be fine.“

“I can't take that chance,” Tony shook his head and climbed to his feet. “I don't want to hurt you because I can't control this thing,”

Bruce knew that he would not get anywhere by arguing with Tony, who was the master of arguing. So he needed a better offer. He needed a way to contain the power so it would not get out of control. Then he realized something. “Do you still have the room where I can go if I.....lose control,”

“Yeah, why?” Tony didn't need to ask though. He knew what Bruce was going to say, and he didn't like it. But it was better then doing it out in the open. “I'm guessing you want to use that for some of the tests.”

“It's safe. Well, safer then doing it in the lab. I'll be able to run diagnostics without having to be in the room. I will be a safe distance away. You won't hurt me,” The last part was spoken with such conviction that Tony actually believe d him. 

“Fine. But can we do it tomorrow? I don't really feel like doing it tonight. I'd rather catch up with you, watch a few movies, you know. Just relax.”

Bruce chuckled. “Yeah, sure Tony. It can wait.”

“Great. I have the new Bond movie that I have been dying to watch,” That was a lie. He did have the movie, he just didn't care enough to want to watch it. But he knew that Bruce likes Bond movies. Bruce lit up with a smile.

“Awesome. Let's go,” Tony laughed as Bruce practically dragged him to the elevator and to the living room. Jarvis already had the movie up when they arrived. Bruce settled onto the couch while Tony grabbed some popcorn. The movie was about two hours, but since Bruce had been away from television for a while before the Avengers, so he hadn't seen many new movies. So they watched quite a few, and ordered pizza for supper. Bruce loved most of the movies, and Tony was finally beginning to remember what having friends is like. 

“Hey, Bruce You should see - “ Tony paused when he saw that Bruce had fallen asleep. He smiled, and went to fetch some blankets for Bruce. He didn't have the heart to wake him up so he left him where he was. Though, he could not quite remember where he kept the spare blankets. He shrugged and just grabbed a few from a spare room. 

When he entered the living room again, an itch at the back of his mind told him that something was wrong. He stopped in the doorway and scanned the room. He didn't see anything at first, but with a second scanning of the room, he saw a glint of metal. Panic rushed through him. The first thing that popped into his head was Hydra had come back for him. His eyes flicked to Bruce who was still sleeping. He could not get into a fight here. Maybe he could talk his way out of this.

“You're different from the one before,”

Silence.

“Did Hydra send you?”

“No,”

Tony was kind of surprised that this guy actually spoke to him. Though something was different about this guy. He said that Hydra did not send him, but he was here for a reason. Tony wanted to find that reason. “Then who sent you?”

“No one.”

“No one? Then why are you here?”

“To find someone,”

“Care to share his name?” There was no answer to this. Tony knew that getting answers out of this guy would be like pulling teeth. He sighed, relaxing a bit. “Fine. Then tell me who you are.”

He didn't get an answer to this either, but instead the man stepped forward so Tony could see him. Tony knew who this was, but he was supposed to be missing. Steve had emailed him today asking for help locating this guy. But why was he here? Only on way to find out.

“Well, I guess I should be honored to get a visit from the Winter Soldier,”


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony tries to get some answers from the Winter Soldier, while the Winter Soldier gets some answers from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry! This chapter is very late. I have been having a very bad writers block lately which is why this chapter is also very short. I don't really like how this turned out, but here you go.

James Buchanun Barnes, also known as the Winter Soldier, barely moved at the mention of his code name. He watched Tony as if he would suddenly attack. He was tense, but Tony knew that it would not slow his reaction time down. In the email that Steve sent him, he had warned Tony that if he found this 'Bucky' that he should call Steve and not engage him. Apparently he was dangerous and still somewhat under the influence of Hydra's brainwashing. Which would explain the steely look in his eyes.

“Look, whatever, or whoever, you are looking for I can help you find them,” Tony raised his hands to show the other man that he was not a threat. Even if he wanted to fight him, he didn't have his Iron Man suit ready. Tony doubted that he could get to one before this guy killed him anyway. But he was Steve's friend which made him important enough that Tony could not hurt him too badly. But he didn't think that this man wanted fight or else he would have done something already. He glanced at the sleeping form on the couch. “Can we take this somewhere else? I don't want to wake up Bruce,”

A slight pause before the soldier nodded. Tony could tell this would be a very one sided conversation. He sighed and waved for the man to follow him. He didn't like that he had his back to the Winter Soldier, but it was not like he had much of a choice. He led him to the kitchen and started some coffee. He had a feeling that he would need it. He made two cups, but he knew that the other man would not drink it. He set both cups on the island, pushed on to the other side and sat down on one of the barstools surrounding the island. He watched as Bucky stayed as far away from him, but still watched him closely like Tony might jumped him. 

Now that they were in the light, Tony could see that the he had abandoned his Winter Soldier uniform from Hydra in favor of a simple pair of jeans, boots and a black sweater. He also had black gloves on. His hair was still as long as in the picture that Steve had sent him, but he looked a bit healthier. Tony was a bit surprised though. What Steve had told him was that Bucky was like him, a super soldier so he thought he would be broad shoulders and all muscles . But he was slimmer, and looked more for precision then power. 

“So, who is it that you are looking for? Do they belong to Hydra?” Tony watched the other man closely for any kind of reaction, but was disappointed when there was none. It seemed like this man didn't have any kind of emotions except wariness. Tony was just seeing the damage that the brainwashing had done to this guy. He might not have known him before this, but that didn't mean that he would leave him to suffer. He might be able to find a way to reverse the brainwashing. 

“He is Hydra. He was here yesterday and the day before,” His voice was soft almost as if he didn't want to speak to him. Tony could only think of one person who was here both days and it was the man that had attacked him. Why was the Winter Soldier looking for him? 

“Right, He was here. Though can I ask what you want from him?” Tony really hoped that this guy was not in league with the other guy. He was not ready to fight someone like the winter soldier. He just needed to keep this guy in the mindset that he was not an enemy. “Not that I care what happens to him after he jumped me,”

Bucky eyes narrowed when he said that and Tony had a sudden fear that he had said the wrong thing. He tensed, ready to jump out of the way if the soldier decided to finish what the other guy had started. Bucky was looking him over as if he was trying to figure something out. He stepped closer to Tony, which caused Tony to take a step back. Bucky raised an eyebrow at him, but did nothing but slide into the seat across from Tony. He placed his hand on the surface of the counter. Tony took this as a passive move so he sat back down in his seat.

“He works for Hydra, but I think that you already know that,” He was still watching Tony, but his eyes had a less steeley look in them. Tony knew that he didn't trust him, but at least he probably was not going to kill him. He was just hoping to get some more information from Bucky then he did from the Hydra agent.   
“Yeah, I know. I just don't know why he was here,” That was not entirely true. He knew that he was there to give him that injection, but why him? Out of everyone in the world, why choose some as damaged as him?

“He was here to give you the mutantni virus,”

“Uhh, the what now?” 

“The mutantni virus is a genetically altered virus that is injected into people with certain traits in their DNA. It's the trait that controls whether or not someone has the possibility to become something more. The virus activates that traits and gives the person remarkable power. If they survive that is,” Tony blinked. This was the most that he has heard the man say in the past ten minutes. He didn't actually think that he would get an answer when he had asked, but he was glad that Bucky trusted him enough to tell him. 

“So, just to clarify he came into my highly secured tower just to give me an injection that could give me powers, which I may or may not have survived?” There were so many different thoughts running through his mind right now. He wanted to ask the other man, but he didn't know whether he could answer them. Or if he would answer them at all. 

The side of Buckys mouth twitched a bit, and Tony felt excited that he caused the other man to feel an emotion other then wariness. “It seems so,”

“Fantastic,” Tony groaned and placed his head in his hands. He didn't know what he did to catch the attention of Hydra, but he want it to end. He didn't want to live in the constant fear that he would be kidnapped by Hydra. He also didn't want to put the people he cared about in danger because Hydra wanted him. He knew of their tactics of getting people to do what they wanted. One of their ways was sitting in front of him. If Hydra did get their hands on him, would he become the brainwashed person like him? Would he loose everything that he was, everything that he wanted to be? 

“Hey, stop that,”

Tony looked up at Bucky who was away from him, tensed. Tony frowned, then realized why he was tense. He looked down at his hands to see a familiar light surrounding him. He hadn't even realized he was using his power. He had suspected that it was connected to his feelings, but he also didn't realize that he was panicking. He shoved his hands under the counter, and pressed them together. He grit his teeth, and squeezed his eyes shut. He really didn't want to loose control now, not when he was so close to answers.

“That's not going to help,” Bucky's voice filtered into his mind, and Tony opened hi eyes to look back up at him. He was no longer tense, but Tony knew that it would not make him any less dangerous.

“What?”

“Trying to force it away, won't actually make it go away,”

Tony laughed humorlessly. “What would you know about this anyway?” The words came out a bit harsher then he had wanted it, but he could feel his anger growing which caused his power to flare up. He jumped up from his seat and moved to the opposite side of the room. He would have left, but he had a feeling that the soldier would follow him.

“I know quite a bit actually,” He held out his right hand and Tony watched in awe as ice appeared, growing up his arm with a small hissing sound. The air around his hand misted, and Tony couldn't help but be intrigued. Steve had not told him about this, and the only reason he wouldn't is because he didn't know. He watched as the ice created swirls and patterns along his arm as it disappeared. “Stop trying to force it away. Use your instincts to will it away,”

Tony took a breath to calm his nerves, letting go of his anger and fear. The same calmness from the car washed over him. He could feel his power, where it was and how it worked. He could feel the control being given back to him, and he immediately pulled it back in. He felt the world coming back to him and he gasped. He nearly collapsed if it wasn't for the arm the grabbed him. He looked up at Bucky who was looking at him in concern which shifted to confusion. He jumped away from Tony, looking scared and confused. He spared one last look at Tony before running out the door. Tony tried calling out to him, but he obviously didn't hear him. Tony sighed. He didn't know what happened, but he assumed it had something to do with the fact that the man had been brainwashed for over seventy years. 

As always, he was exhausted after using his powers. He didn't think that he would get any sleep tonight, but that didn't mean that he couldn't try. He trailed back to the living room and threw himself down on the couch's available space. He looked at Bruce and was glad that he remained sleeping during this entire thing. If he wanted to keep his friends safe, he needed to keep this thing he had a secret. He would need help with it, and briefly wondered if he would see the soldier again.


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony awakens to find both Rhodey and Pepper had come to visit. After, they go run another test, which goes horribly wrong.

The first thing that Tony noticed in the morning, was that it was too bright and too loud. He pulled the blanket off from where it was covering his head and looked around the room. That's when he noticed that it was no longer just him and Bruce, but Rhodey and Pepper as well. He wasn't all too surprised. He had expected this too happen sooner or later. Pepper was always worried about him and Rhodey, well let's just say that he comes around a few times a month. Pepper had probably told him what happened in the car which would have made him concerned. He sighed, knowing full well that he could not hide forever, and climbed to his feet. 

“Well, look who's back to the land of the living,” Rhodey grinned at him but Tony could tell that something was bothering him. Tony could tell that he wanted to say something but was holding back. Pepper looked happy to see him, a bit more relaxed then the last time they were together. And Bruce, well he actually looked comfortable to be around other people. For a second, he panicked thinking that Bruce had told them what was going on, but relaxed when he realized that they would be asking him a bunch of questions if he did.

“Sorry. It's been a tiring week, that's all,” Tony shrugged, trying to keep the mood light. Both Pepper and Rhodey would be able to tell when he was tense. 

“It's fine Tony. It's good to see that you are getting some sleep.” Pepper walked over to him and pulled him into a hug. She usually does this when she finds out that he has been having a hard time. Plus. She is the only one that Tony will allow to do such things. He hugged her back, telling her that he is fine. Which was true. He had expected to feel exhausted or at least a bit tired, but he felt fine. No lingering weariness like the last few nights when he used his gifts. Maybe his body was finally getting used to the power. 

That reminded him....the guy from last night. Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier had visited him. He didn't really understand what had happened. All he knew was that he appeared in the tower looking for the other Hydra agent, then disappeared for no reason. He also was gifted like Tony. He had given Tony a few answers to them but Tony still didn't understand. Yes, he was told how he got his powers, and who gave them to him. The biggest question to Tony was why? Why would they go through all of that trouble for him? He had a feeling that Barnes would be back so he would just ask him then. 

He pulled away to send a half hearted glare at both her and Rhodey. “Well, I do have two people constantly telling me that I need to sleep more often.”

“Maybe you shouldn't do things that endanger your life,” Rhodey stepped forward to hug him too. He had not seen Rhodey as he had been over sea's for the past three weeks. Tony didn't realize it but he actually missed him. Even though he spends most of his time in the tower, he still gets edgy when he doesn't see Rhodey often. Maybe it's the fact that he was the only one who has stayed with him through all of the stupid stuff that he has ever done in his life. He didn't know why, but he was glad he did. He didn't have anyone else besides him and Pepper that he whole heartedly trusted. Sure, he trusted his team, but that was only with his life. He didn't care too much about what happened to his life, only that he doesn't get used again like so often in the past. 

“Endangering my life is sort of a part of being a superhero. It is bound to happen,” Tony shrugged, trying to not seem too bothered by it. He took a seat beside Bruce at the table, grinning happily when Pepper placed a steaming cup of coffee in front of him. 

“Out in the field maybe, but not here by yourself. You need to take more care of yourself,” Pepper shared a look with Rhodey, knowing full well that Tony may be listening to them now, but when the time come will do what he wants. Both of them knew that he was having a hard time nowadays, but also knew that he would not talk about unless pushed. “Which reminds me. Bruce told me that you had actually been sick,”

Tony shot a look at Bruce, hoping and praying that it wasn't the truth about what was really going on. All Bruce did was raise an eyebrow with a tiny smirk on his lips. Bruce did promise that he would not tell anyone without Tony's permission but he also said that he would not keep something serious from the team. “really? He did?”

“Yep, he told us everything,” Rhodey shrugged. He seemed unconcerned with whatever it was that Bruce told him so Tony was positive that they were told nothing. “Why do you think we are here? We wanted to know if you were going to keel over and die anytime soon.” He sent a smirk at Tony who grinned. He missed this kind of banter with him. Rhodey was actually the only person who not only put up with his antics, but joined in. “He said that it wasn't serious.”

“It's not?” Tony was a little confused now. He had no idea what they were talking about. The first thing that popped into his head was that Bruce told them some medical explanation for his symptoms that Pepper saw. 

“Of course you need to eat all the right food and stuff to get over the vitamin deficiency, but you'll live,” Pepper acted a bit disappointed in that, but Tony smiled. Her humor might not be the best, but it told him that they were still good. “He said that it was the reason why your eyes changed color, and your strange moods. So, he is going to stay here to make sure you get back to your usual self,”

Tony nodded, trying to keep himself from laughing. Vitamin deficiency? Really? Bruce's excuse was not what he had been expecting, but it worked. Pepper seemed convinced, which was all that mattered. He didn't need her digging into the last few days. It could place her into danger and that was not something he was comfortable with. 

“I'll try to take better care of myself,” He promised her. For once, he actually meant it. He needed to take care of himself long enough that he could find out what was going on.

“You better, or I will come back,” 

“Don't worry, Pepper. I'll make sure that he does.” Bruce's voice sounded way too sincere for Tony. Which gave him the impression that Bruce was a fantastic liar.

“Thanks Bruce. You're a good person.”

“I just want to help Tony get better,” Bruce shot Tony a look that was a mix between “you owe me for this” and “I am trying to help”. Tony smiled, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. Maybe it was the fact that both of them were genius', but Tony found it easy to be around him. Tony didn't know how much he could trust Bruce with, but he did like him. 

“I'm sure you do. It's just that Tony doesn't like to be taken care of,”

“I've noticed that. Don't worry though. I'll take care of him even if he doesn't want me to,”

“He is sitting right here,” Tony glared at both of them. He could see Rhodey out of the corner of his eye. He was shaking, trying to hold in his laughter, which made Tony a bit more irritated. Yes, he has not been doing well recently, but that didn't mean that he didn't know how. He huffed, climbing to his feet. “Since you guys are perfectly fine with talking about me, I'm going to go downstairs,”

“Oh, Tony wait. I'm sorry,” Pepper grabbed his arm as he passed. “We're just worried about you,”

Tony sighed. He knew that, but his emotions were a little bit too strong at the moment. For some reason, having this 'gift' made his emotions more intense. Which was bad because his powers flared up when they got too intense. He knew that Pepper didn't, and wouldn't, know the real reason why he was trying to escape. “I know. I just...I remember that Bruce wanted to do an few more tests to make sure that there is not anything else wrong with me,”

Bruce had always been good at reading the environment and could tell when something was going to happen. He knew that Tony needed to get away before anything else happened. He climbed to his feet too. “Sorry guys. I forgot to mention it. I just want to make sure that there aren't anymore medical problems. With Tony not taking care of himself, I'm sure that there could be more.”

“I see,” Pepper nodded, and grabbed Rhodey's arm. “We have to go anyway. We have a meeting with some very important diplomats from South Africa. They are interested in expanding their energy sources. Thank you Bruce, for your help. And Tony?”

“Yes Pep?”

“Try to take better care of yourself. There are people who care about you, no matter how much you refuse to believe it,” Pepper gave the pair a smile before tugging Rhodey, who was still grinning at Tony, to the elevator. 

Tony relaxed as soon as they left, feeling the tension drain from his muscles. He hated the fact that had to hide something this serious from his two best friends. He wanted to tell them, he really did. But he didn't want to put them in danger. If not from Hydra, from him. With his emotions being all over the place, he could not trust himself not to loose control. 

“Shall we go down then?”

“Hmm?” Tony looked up and saw Bruce watching him with a bit of concern. He gave a weak smile, but lead the way back to the lab next to the Hulk room. He knew that Bruce was still curious about his powers, and so was he. He needed to know how and why first. The other stuff came second. He watched as Bruce set up a few more tests. He sat quietly as he did. Bruce left him be, knowing that he had a lot on his mind. He knew that he was terrified when the accident happened. He was scared to get even a little bit angry like that would trigger the Hulk. From what Tony had told him yesterday, it was very similar. Triggered by extreme emotions. He wanted to help Tony like Tony had helped him. Tony had made him realize that the Hulk, although dangerous, was a good thing.

“Shall we begin?” He looked up from the scanners that he had set up. Tony just nodded and stepped into the Hulk room. He seemed to be distracted, which Bruce knew could not be good.

Tony was feeling emotions run through him, and disappear too quickly for him to separate them. These past few days had been hell for him, and he just wanted it to end. He had a feeling that it would not end any time soon. He flinched a bit when he stepped into the Hulk room. He really didn't want to do this. He could hurt Bruce, and that was something that he would not forgive himself for. He heard the hissing sound of the door closing, and turned to face Bruce. He was messing with a few of the scanners. 

“You can start when you feel comfortable enough,” Bruce's voice was soft, even through the speakers. 

Tony nodded, and closed his eyes. The familiar feeling of his power brewed deep inside himself, and he tried reaching for it. He stopped though, seeming unable to reach it. He sighed, shifting on his feet and pushed harder. Nothing. It seemed like every time he got close to it, it pulled away. He growled and opened his eyes. “It's not working,”

“Hmm, maybe it has something to do with the fact that you actually want to use it. Trying to force it might not be what it takes to use it,” Bruce's voice lowered into mumbles as he messed around with the screens. Tony wasn't paying any attention to that though. He remembered the night before when Barnes told him not to force it. Instead to use his instincts. He huffed. Instincts. Right. He closed his eyes, and stopped trying to reach for it. He just let it come to him. 

He gasped as the rush of power flowed through him. It was so much stronger then any of the other times that it appeared. But it wasn't overwhelming. He still didn't try to force it out. He accepted it, welcomed it even. He opened his eyes, and gaped in wonder. All the other times, he could feel the atoms and molecules around him. This time he could bot feel and see them. He looked around him, laughing lightly. He raised his hand and waved it through the air to see the oxygen molecules move around it. This was so much more intense then it had been before. He laughed again, spinning around to take in the rest.

He froze. Bruce was staring at him, mouth open and eyes wide. Tony had completely forgotten about him. He felt the panic rising in him, and before he could stop it, his power flared up. Gold light surrounded him as if trying to comfort him. A denser, darker gold light shot out toward the walls of the room. The entire room shook as they collided. Tony fell to his knees, bringing his hands up to grab his head. No, no no. It's not supposed to be like this. Tony grabbed at his power pulling, but it was too strong. And it was getting stronger. The more he panicked, the stronger it got. He tried to calm himself, but it just was not working. He could feel the room falling apart around him. Fear had wound it's way into Tony's heart by this time. He could feel that Bruce was still in the room. Tony wanted to yell, to scream at him to run. But he wasn't. He was was trapped in a corner of the lab, trying to avoid the falling debris. This is exactly why he didn't want to do this.

_Calm down._

Tony tensed at the voice. It was as if someone was speaking to him in his mind. It sounded vaguely familiar, but Tony didn't have the time to stop and figure it out.

_Let it go._

Let what go? Tony wanted to ask, but didn't really care. He relaxed his muscles, and sank deeper into his mind. A face flashed in his mind, but it was gone too quickly for him to see. It wasn't really important at the moment. He breathed slowly as he cleared his mind, his emotions slowly draining away.

_Remember what I said._

Who are you? Tony asked, but he received no answer. He didn't really expect one.

_Use your instincts._

Instincts. Barnes? Tony felt warmth spreading across his body, but it wasn't the feeling of his power. It was the feeling he got when he was surrounded by the people he cared about. It was that happiness and comfort that he felt. He surrounded him, washing away the negative emotions. He felt his power retreat, fixing what it had destroyed. He didn't care about that. He just wanted whatever this feeling was to continue. He knew that it would not last long, and he was right. The moment his power disappeared, so did the feeling. He felt tears welling up in his eyes, and he wrapped his arms around himself. It left him feeling cold and empty. It made him feel alone. 

“Tony?”

Tony looked up and saw Bruce looking down at him. He didn't seemed hurt, or even scared. He dropped down to his knees and pulled Tony close to him. He wrapped his own arms around Tony, holding him close as sobs wracked through his body. He hated this feeling, he needed it to disappear. 

He wanted to be loved again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Bruce have a small talk. And Tony gets a visit from the one person he wants to see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really sorry for the delayed updates. I have been having a hard time writing right now. But I will try to do better. 
> 
> Thank you to those who have stuck with me even though I suck at updating.

Bruce held Tony until he stopped shaking. He ran his hands up and down the mans back calming him. He didn't understand why he was so upset, but he understood what it was like to just let go. Tony needed something to ground him while he let go of everything so he didn't go off the deep end. Bruce would help in any way that he could because Tony was his friend. Tony was the only person who didn't look at him and see a monster. He saw Bruce as a brilliant scientist. It was easy to become friends after that, trading ideas and thoughts every so often. Tony was there when he needed him, so he would be here when Tony needed him. 

“It's alright. Everything is going to be okay,” He murmured. Tony sniffed a few times before pulling away from Bruce. He looked embarrassed by his actions. He rubbed his hands over his eyes and gave a nervous laugh.

“I 'haven't done that in a while. I don't even know why I did it. Sorry,”

“Tony, it's fine.” He reassured him. “When I was still learning to control the Hulk I accidentally lost control quite a few times. I got so stressed that I would start hiding myself away from people, getting more and more depressed about life. Sometimes I would spend days just trying not to cry so you can believe me when I say this Tony, it's okay. “

Tony felt bad when he realized that Bruce was actually trying to help him. He had thought that Bruce might be scared of him after what he had almost done. After all, he had almost killed him and if that wasn't reason enough to make him scared of Tony, he didn't know what was. He was half hoping that Bruce would actually be scared of him so that Bruce would leave. Not that he didn't love that Bruce was here, but he knew that Hydra would be coming back. He could not get Bruce mixed up in his problems, not when there was a high likelihood that Hydra would kill anyone who got in the way. He couldn't do that to Bruce.

“Thanks. I guess I needed that,” Tony climbed to his feet, pulling Bruce up with him. He didn't want to talk about what happened, mostly because he had no idea what did happen. That feeling he got when his mind was connected to Barnes'....that was something he had never felt before. He needed to speak with Barnes again to get some more answers. He had a feeling that Barnes knew more then he was telling him. Not that he told him much last night anyway. He needed to find a way to keep in contact with him just in case something happened.

“What are friends for?” Bruce gave him a small smile. “I think that we should take a break,”

“Yeah, I think so too,” Tony was exhausted, which seemed to becoming a regular thing nowadays. He may be tired, but he didn't want to sleep. He needed to find a way to end this though he did not have a way to contact the only person he could ask. Tony knew that Barnes would come back so he would have to wait until then.

It wasn't until a few days later that Tony started to doubt that he might come back. Had he done something that night when he had taken off? Maybe he said something that the soldier didn't like. He was known for saying things that were a bit harsh. Tony was on edge over the last few days expecting himself to lose control of his power and hurt someone. That didn't happen. In fact, his power didn't even show up in any way. Bruce told him it was probably due to the fact that he had used it quite a bit down in the lab. Bruce had worked on all of the data that he got from the tests, not asking for any more even though Tony had a feeling that he wanted to. He appreciated him not asking for more tests. Tony didn't know if he would be able to stop it next time he lost control. So generally, they kind of avoided one another.

“This is such a fucking mess,” Tony rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand. He was sitting in the common room, left alone once again. Bruce was in the lab and Pepper had gone on some over seas trip to discuss something or another with potential buyers. He had no one to talk to besides Jarvis who was not exactly helpful with his situation. He did try though and that had made him smile. 

“What's a mess?”

Tony jumped at the deep voice whirling around in his chair to look at the man standing in the doorway. Barnes looked as he did the other times he showed up in the tower. Calm, and steady wearing simple civilian clothes. For some reason, Tony was relieved to see him. He thought that he had scared him away. After all, Barnes had fled the other night to get away from him. Even though Tony had hoped that he would come back, the question that kept running through his mind was why? He told Tony that he was looking for a Hydra agent, the one that attacked him in his room. They both know that the agent will come back for Tony, but that didn't mean that he had to come and talk with him at all. He could just wait in the shadows for him to show up. Again, he wanted to ask why but he knew that there were more important questions to ask. It also made him him curious as to how he kept getting into the tower without alerting Jarvis.

“This whole thing. I mean, I was attacked in my own room by a Hydra agent who gave me something that turned me into this super powered freak, and now they want to kidnap me for whatever reason. Not to mention, I can't control this power which I had almost killed my friend because I couldn't. I just want this whole thing to be over,” Tony knew he was rambling but he felt that Barnes was the only one that he could really speak to about this. He had no idea why he trusted this man so much. Maybe because he's Steve's friend. Maybe because Barnes is just as damaged as he is. Though he has opened up a bit more since the first time he had met him. Maybe they were getting somewhere with his ability to trust others. He knew that if he asked a question he would probably get an answer, as long as it is not too personal for Barnes. There was only one question one his mind that had been bothering him since it happened. “And that thing with you being in my head, what the hell was that about?”

Barnes blinked, tilting his head a bit in confusion. Tony could see that he had no idea what he was talking about. “I was? When did this happen?”

“When I lost control and almost killed Bruce. You were helping me control it and there was this feeling of..of..” Tony knew that he could not tell Barnes that he felt _loved_ when their minds had connected. He would probably take it the wrong way and would most likely leave again before Tony could get any answers. “comfort when we were connecting. Are you not remembering any of this?”

Tony prayed that him not remembering had something to do with the fact that Barnes had been brainwashed and not that he had imagined to whole thing. He didn't know the full effect of whatever Hydra had given him. He didn't know anything about the effects other then they gave him powers. More questions for the soldier when he had the chance.

Barnes was staring at him, face completely blank. Tony could see that he was thinking about something even though he gave nothing away. He got more and more nervous as the silence went on. Was he going to bolt before Tony could actually have a conversation with him like he had done before? It wasn't until the silverish eyes narrowed that Tony knew he said something wrong. Tony could see

“It was nothing,” Barnes whirled around and Tony knew he was going to leave so he did the first thing that popped into his head. He grabbed his right arm. Barne tensed at his touch and looked back at him with a glare. Tony knew that getting on this guys bad side was not such a good idea but he was tired of getting no answers to his questions. 

“You know something about this. I want to know. I think that I deserve to know,” He didn't back down even when Barnes' glare turned icy. He yanked his arm out of Tony's grasp, his body tense. 

“You don't need to know. Like I said, it's nothing that you need to be worried about. I'll handle it,”

“Handle what? I'm not letting you run away again. Why are you refusing to tell me information on something that is affecting me? Then telling me that I don't need to know,” Tony couldn't help but be angry at the other man. He knew that Barnes was probably having a hard time right now, but so was he. He didn't receive an answer, only a glare. Tony felt bad for snapping at him, so he tried another way. “Please, I...I just need some help. You're the only person who can do that,”

Barnes stared at him a little longer before nodding slowly. He still looked uncertain but he was no longer trying to leave. “Can we sit?”

“Yeah. Yeah that's a good idea.” Tony lead him over to the couch and sat down on one end. He watched as the ex-assassin placed himself on the opposite end. “Jarvis, no interruptions please,”

“Of course sir,”

Barnes didn't even startle at Jarvis' voice. He just sat with his hands clasped in his lap, eyes cast down. He seemed to be contemplating how to start. Tony sat in silence, giving the other man a chance to gather his thoughts. Now that he knew that Barnes wouldn't leave, he was calmer and a bit nervous to find out what the hell was going on between them. 

“You were right. I do know what's going on with us,” 

“See, I was right,”

Barnes sent him a glare that made him press his lips together in a show that he would not interrupt again. Barnes rolled his eyes at his act but went on. “I'm not sure that you will like it though. I'm not sure I like it.” He paused again wringing his hands together. The metal of his prosthetic arm glinted in the low light and Tony got momentarily distracted by it. 

“I'm sure I can handle it,” Even though he promised not to interrupt again, he couldn't help but try to assure the soldier that this was something that he needed to know. 

Barnes didn't seem to notice his interruption. He seemed to be struggling with choosing the words he wanted to use. “Sometimes there's an event that happens between two people that have been affected by the Mutani virus. When two people are...compatible in both powers and personality a bond can form between them. They can sometimes communicate telepathically with one another if they so wish. None of the scientists really know how or why this happens only that it does and it is very rare. They are used to ground each other, to help control their powers. When the two people are connected by either mind or by touching on another they have more control and their power gets more powerful. There is also this feeling of....comfort as you said when this does happen. Hydra....”

Barnes winced raising his hands to his head as if trying to push away a headache. Tony knew that Hydra was probably a sensitive subject for him.

“So, you think that we have this....bond?” Tony trying change the subject.

Barnes lowered his hands and looked up at Tony. He seemed to appreciate the distraction. “Most likely yes,”

“Well, okay then,” Honestly, he was expecting something much worse like he was dying or going crazy. Being 'bonded' to the Winter Soldier could not be that bad could it? 

“This is not okay!” Barnes snapped at him. Tony's tensed expecting the others anger to flare out to him. It didn't. Barnes slumped back onto the couch as if exhausted. “If Hydra finds out that we are a bonded pair, then they will try twice as hard to get their hands on you. On us. I...I can't go back. I CAN'T!”

His breath started to come in harsh gasp, and he had curled in on himself. Tony could tell that he was falling into a panic attack and leaned forward. He didn't touch him because he knew that was not a good idea to do to someone suffering a panic attack. 

“Hey now. It's alright. You are safe here. Nothing will harm you here,” Tony spoke softly knowing that this could take a bit. “You are safe with me. You are in Stark Tower no wait it's the Avengers Tower now sorry, it's Wednesday late in the afternoon. It's just you and me here, nobody else. You are safe,”

Barnes had started to calm down, finally coming back to himself. He looked around confused but seemingly alright considering. He took a deep breath. “I should go,”

“Or you can stay,” Tony found himself saying before he had time to register them. A flash of panic went through him. He had no idea how Barnes would react to that. He didn't want to destroy any progress that they had made together. That didn't be the case. Sure, the other man looked surprised but he wasn't trying to flee. He didn't smile but Tony could see that he was happy.

“Okay,”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Bucky talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Another chapter is up. Every time I write Bucky I feel like I am not getting his personality right mainly because we haven't seen much of him yet. So sorry for any mistakes that I have made.
> 
> Also not beta'd, so there might be some grammar and spelling mistakes.

He settled Bucky into one of the guest rooms on his floor. It was just a simple room with a bed, dresser, and chair off in the corner. He knew that even if the other Avengers showed up, they would not go up there. Barnes should be safe enough there. Plus, it was a good idea to keep him close just in case something happened. They shuffled awkwardly around each other until Tony was ready to just flee back to his room. He didn't know why he even invited Barnes to stay in the tower. It was probably a very bad idea but since when have his idea's ever been a good idea. What surprised him most though, was that the soldier actually accepted his offer. He was expecting him to reject his offer and disappear to where ever he had been hiding out as of lately. This raised a lot of warning bells and questions that Tony decided not to dwell on.

“Can I ask you a question?” Tony needed to break the silence. It was almost suffocating him.

“Sure. I might not answer it though,” The low rumble of the soldiers voice, Tony noticed, was different from the first time that he had met him. It was less cold and Tony was sure that he noticed a bit of warmth in it.

“Why are you helping me? I know that you want to find the Hydra agent that attacked me, but you didn't have to tell me anything. Neither did you have to stay here. Yet you do. Why?” Tony moved over to the closet where spare blankets and pillows were. He grabbed a handful of both and dumped them on the bed. He sighed, knowing that he couldn't leave that that, and begun making the bed. He was not really used to this so it ended up very messy. He huffed, crossing his arms over his chest and glared at the mess on the bed.

A laugh startled him out of his pouting and he looked over at Barnes who had a smile on his face. Tony was in awe of how beautiful this guy actually was when he was smiling. He was going to make it his mission to make this man smile and laugh more. Barnes seemed to notice what he did and his face fell back into the cold indifference like before. He seemed to be fighting with something. 

Barnes shook himself out of his stupor and looked at Tony with a small shrug. “I honestly don't know. I know that they will come after you, that is almost a given. But there is something else. You...you are different,”

Tony frowned. “Different? Different how?

Barnes seemed to struggle with his words for a second. Tony noticed that he seemed to do a lot of that around him. He wondered if it was him, or just the fact that he wasn't used to speaking his mind. “You make me do something that I was programmed not to,”

“And what's that?” 

“Feel,” Barnes looked him straight in the eye when he said that. “You are making me _feel_ when I should not be able to. I shouldn't....be able to feel these things and yet the emotions keep coming. It's a bit overwhelming to be honest,”

“This can't be the first time feeling since you...woke up is it? I mean, you met with Steve. I'm sure that you must have felt something with him,” Tony didn't know the extent that Hydra's brainwashing went but he was beginning to see how it had affected the soldier. He had told himself many times before that he would not get attached to him, that he shouldn't care but he did. He was feeling something that he hasn't felt in ages. He felt safe. Being around Barnes made him feel safe. 

Barnes shook his head. “No. I mean yes. I felt something but it was minimal. Not as intense as they are now.”

“Maybe what Hydra did to you is wearing off. It probably has nothing to do with me,”

“You're not understanding me.” Barnes snapped. His hands were clenched into fists at his sides, and his body was tense. Tony didn't know what it was exactly he was misunderstanding. He wanted to know how to fix this. He couldn't have the soldier run out on him again when he was so close to getting the information that he needed. Plus, he was getting attached to this guy. Tony wanted to dig in deep, removing the influence that Hydra put there and pull out who he really is. Tony wanted to help him as much as Barnes has helped him. 

“I'm sorry.” Tony meant it. He didn't like seeing this guy this way and knowing that he was the one responsible made him feel even worse. He hated the fact that he always said the wrong things to the wrong people. He tried to be better at it, he really did, but it didn't do much good. He sighed and stepped back. “Sorry. I'll leave.”

“No,” The response was just as sharp but held none of it's previous harshness. Barnes slumped down as if he had given up. He looked both frustrated, and hopelessness. Tony felt like shit now and he didn't know how to fix it. He reached out, and let his hand rest on the others shoulder. The man didn't flinch at the touch, instead leaning into it. He closed his eyes and gave a soft hum. Tony could now see how tired he was. Tony placed his other hand on his arm as well and led him over to the bed. Barnes let him maneuver him until he was lying on his back. He just looked so lost. 

“Listen, I...I'm not good at this,” Tony waved his hands around a bit. “This whole thing of listening to people and understanding them. I'm impatient, oblivious to the needs of others, and selfish. I always ruin the relationships between people because I can never keep up with it. What I'm trying to say is I know that I am difficult but please try and forgive me for all the wrong that I have done and will do.”

Tony was not all that surprised when he didn't receive an answer. He knew that Barnes needed some time to himself. He stepped away from the bed, sending one last look in his direction and moved to the door.

“You are not a bad person,”

Tony paused with his hand on the doorknob. The voice was quiet, but steady. Tony looked back and saw that Barnes had sat up and was looking at him with that weird way of his. The way that made you feel as if he was seeing a lot more then you wanted him to. Tony shifted under his gaze. “You haven't known me long enough to make that statement. You don't know what I have done,”

“I have done worse,”

“Yes, but that wasn't you. Hydra was brainwashing you and forcing you to do stuff that you didn't want to. I have done a lot of stuff just because I could. My company sold weapons to the enemy which then were used to kill innocent people. And even after I shut down the weapons manufacturing, people still got hurt because of me.” Tony stopped when he realized that he was almost shouting. He closed his eyes, bringing his hands up to rub at his temple where a migraine had started. “You may have done worse then me, but you didn't have a choice. I made the choices that hurt people. There's nothing that can change that,”

Barnes was silent for long enough that Tony believed that he finally made his point. Though what was his point? Was he trying to convince the soldier that he was a bad person? That he should not stay here with him? It didn't matter much anyway. He would leave just like everyone else left him. And he would be alone again. Maybe it's better this way. So he would stay out of the way of the people who wanted to hurt him. It would help Barnes stay out of Hydra's sights if he wasn't with Tony. But he didn't want the other man to leave. Even though every nerve in his body was shouting at him to push him away, he couldn't. He felt safer with him here. He didn't want to be alone anymore. 

“You have to forgive yourself,” Barnes looked at him when he said this, eerily calm. He didn't have any of the frustration or hopelessness like he did a few minutes ago. “There was a saying that said that you need to forgive yourself first before you can forgive others,”

“I don't believe that,” 

The edge of Barnes' lips quirked in a small smile. “Neither do I. But I know what guilt feels like,”

“Really? Because I was pretty sure that you spent the last little while as Hydra's emotionless soldier,” Tony saw Barnes wince automatically feeling bad. “Sorry. What I'm trying to say is that it's not easy,”

“I know. Ever since I left Hydra, I have been gaining my...I've been becoming more like myself. Though it has been rather slow. And like I said before, you are making me feel a lot more then I usually do,” Barnes shrugged, looking down at his hands. “It's overwhelming for me. Imagine not feeling any kind of emotions for the longest time, then you stumble upon this one guy who you automatically feel everything.”

“That just raises another question. Why me? Why is it me that you are reacting to?” Tony moved over to the chair that was off to the side. He settled into the soft cushions. He had a feeling he might be here a while. He wanted to figure the soldier out like he always did when he found something new. Though most of the time it got him into trouble. He always had a habit of sticking his nose in where it wasn't needed. 

“I'm not too sure about that,” But the tone of voice told Tony that wasn't entirely true.

“Okay then. Let me hear your theories then. You have to have some,” Tony pushed.

“It's probably the bond,” was all the answer he got.

“ _Right_. The bond, which you still haven't told me much about.” Tony rolled his eyes, tired of getting half answers from this guy. Not that he blamed him after everything that he has been through. He would find it hard to trust people too.

“Well, there isn't really much known about them. Only that it happens between two..gifted people and makes them stronger,” Barnes shrugged. He really didn't know much about it. Hydra didn't tell him anything because he didn't need to know. He was never bonded, until now anyway, so they didn't see the point. 

“Well then why us? Why are we bonded to each other?”

“I don't know that either. Maybe it's because we are similar,”

Tony frowned. Similar? He didn't see how he was like the soldier in any way. “And how's that?”

“We're both broken,” This was said softly, almost in a whisper. Tony wanted to deny it but he knew that Barnes was right. They were both broken men. Maybe not by their own means, but they were still too broken to be able to be fixed fully. 

“Yeah. I guess we are,” Tony stood from his seat. He wanted to ask more questions, but he was tired and he could see that the soldier was tired as well. He said goodnight and left. He lay in his bed, thoughts racing through his mind. He needed to think over the few answers that he had gotten. He needed to plan for what might happen in the next few weeks. He just hoped that it didn't end badly like everything he does usually ends.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony learns the hard way that you shouldn't wake a sleeping assassin. Plus, he gets a call from Pepper.

The morning came with aching muscles and a tired mind. Once again, Tony didn't get much sleep. His mind was racing and he kept expecting someone to come up to his floor and accidentally see Barnes. He was on edge, which was bad enough but he also could not stop thinking about the soldier. He wanted to help him. Not only get away from Hydra, but also to help heal his mind. 

He paused outside the guest bedroom. His excuse of being here was to offer the man breakfast and some clothes. His real reason was to see if he could get more information about the man himself. He told Tony about Hydra, his gifts, and the bond between them but nothing about himself. That was going to change. If Tony was going to help him, he needed to know more. 

Steeling himself, he pushed open the door. The room was lit up, the lights had been left on, but the other man was asleep buried under the blankets. Tony's lips quirked up in a smile. He was actually very good looking when he wasn't looking at you like he wanted to kill you. He placed the clothes on the chair, hoping that he got the right sizes. Tony moved over to the bed slowly. He wanted to run his fingers through the mans hair to see if it was as soft as it looked. Or to feel the muscles under the thin layer of fabric. Tony pulled himself back a bit. He couldn't let himself be caught up in this man too much or he would lose focus of the problem at hand. Which would be to stop Hydra from hurting anymore people. He pushed all his thoughts to the back on his mind and reached out to shake the man awake.

Honestly, he should have thought this through before he did that. He should have known that a semi brainwashed super soldier would react like this.

A hand grabbed Tony's wrist and yanked him off his feet with a startled sound. He landed on his back on the bed and he felt a metal hand wrapped around his throat. He felt panic grow in him as he clawed at the uselessly. He stared up at the empty eyes knowing full well that the Barnes he was talking to last night, was not present. He tried calling his name out but they came out as croaks. He hoping that Barnes would come back to himself before he killed him. Tony struggled, trying to get out words, but the hand on his throat just tightened. 

Can't breath.

Fear.

Pain.

Panic.

Tony's vision went black around the edges, and he did the only thing that he could. He reached for his power and lashed out at Barnes. He didn't want to hurt the other guy. After all, this was not his fault. But he couldn't die. Not now. His power moved from his hands that were clutching at the metal one around his throat, and rapidly spread across the metal. It didn't seem to anything at first, but then the metal of the arm just started falling apart. Barnes yelped in pain and let go of Tony to try and move away from Tony's power. Tony sucked in the much need air, couching and gasping. He looked over at Barnes who was curled up in the corner whimpering with his metal arm hanging uselessly by his side. Tony could see that his power was eating away the metal and in was only a matter of time before it got to the flesh of his shoulder. Tony pulled back on the destroying part of his power and pushed forward to try and fix his arm. Though it might not work the same after this, Tony thought as he watched the metal reform itself. I'll just build him a better one. Though Tony would doubt that Barnes would want to be around him after what Tony did to him. 

His breaths still came in pants but he still moved off the bed to sit a few feet away from the shivering soldier. He struggled with the words, trying to find the right way to apologize to him. He knew that the guy must be scared of him now He didn't want Barnes to be scared of him. “I....I'm sorry, Barnes. I didn't mean.....I'm sorry,”

It took a few minutes until Barnes looked up at him. He seemed to have calmed down enough so that he wasn't in a constant state of panic. He still had a confused look to him which Tony couldn't blame him for. He continued to stare at Tony as he tried to gain control over himself again. 

“Why...” Barnes paused, his voice low enough that Tony almost didn't catch the next words. “Why did you apologize?”

“What do you mean? I hurt you. I practically destroyed your arm.”

“You were defending yourself. I would have killed you if you had not done that. So it should be _me_ who should be apologizing to you.” 

“I still should have figured something else out. I could have killed you for something that was not your fault,” Tony shook his head. 

“It was my fault. I could feel your struggles, and I heard your pleas, but I didn't care.” Barnes seemed to fade away for a moment before he looked back at Tony. _He looks so lost_. Tony shrugged off the uneasy feeling that was residing in his chest.

“It's not that you didn't care, it was that you couldn't. Hydra messed you up pretty badly,” Tony knew this and he still did not blame him. He was finally understanding how deep this mind controlling business went.

“Still, you should not apologize for protecting yourself,” Barnes looked at him like he was missing something big, something important. Barnes moved closer to him as if to study him. “You are so confusing. I don't understand half the things you say and do. It's like you are purposely this way,”

Tony snorted. He was the one that was confusing? Please, that sounded more like Barnes then it did him. He huffed and climbed to his feet. He ignored Barnes' eyes that followed him. “Anyway, now that the 'trying to kill each other' part is over, would you like some breakfast?”

“I guess,”

“Good. I also got some clothes for you. I don't know your sizes so I just guessed. They should fit you,” Tony waved to the clothes on the chair. “I'll go start on breakfast,”

Tony left quickly after that. He couldn't deal with the eyes that studied him when he moved. He bolted down to the kitchen, desperate to get some time to think. That whole event had shook him up pretty good. He was still shaking lightly and his breaths came in quick little pants. He leaned against the counter, closing his eyes and tried to calm himself. 

A ringing startled him out of his thoughts. He reached into his pocket to pull out his phone. He cursed softly when he saw who it was. This was not really a good time to be talking to someone who knows you better then anyone else. It's not like he could ignore her either. He sighed, and answered it. “Hello, Pep. What's up?

“I just wanted to call to get you caught up on the workings of your company,”

“You mean you wanted to call to check up on me,” Tony laughed. She knew that he worried too much about him, but he wouldn't have it any other way.

“You caught me. So, how are you?”

“I'm fine. Better then ever really,” 

“Why don't I believe that?” 

“Well you should. I'm doing great. I finally found a new project that could really help a lot of people,” Tony knew that he would never be able to lie to his best friend, so he gave her half truths. He did find a new project, which was helping Barnes become better, though he didn't know if it would help many people. 

“Tony,” She sighed. “Fine. I guess it would useless to argue with you. Anyway, there was another reason I called. The company is holding a banquet that you will be required to attend,”

“Aww Pep,” He whined. He hated company events. He had to socialize with the board members and try to dumb down his vocabulary so they actually understand him. 

“No more whining. You are going or do I have to go over there and make sure that you go?” She didn't even bother to hide the threat in her voice.

“No, mom. I'll be there,”

“You better be. It's in three days. If I don't see you there, I will hunt you down. Understand?”

“Yes, Ma'am.” Tony couldn't help the smirk that grew on his face. He liked this little banters that they got into sometimes. It always reminded him that Pepper was an amazing person that he was lucky to have.

“Good. I guess I will see you there. Good bye Tony,”

“Bye Pep. I'll be there. Promise,” He hung up shaking his head. He loved Pepper but he was also terrified of the woman. She could be downright scary when she wanted to be. It was better to just do as she says. Plus, going to one banquet was not going to kill him. He just hoped that he could stay in control of his emotions, and therefore his power, for the night.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everybody who left kudos, comments and bookmarked this story. Also to those who have stuck with me through my very horrible posting schedule. I know that I am very slow with this, but this year, I will try my best to do better. 
> 
> Still not beta read so any and all mistakes are my own.

“Something wrong?”

“Son of a -” Tony whirled around to glare at Barnes, who was standing in the doorway looking at him in worry. He was dressed and looked relatively better then he did before. Tony could see that he was holding his arm close to his body and he felt guilty all over again. He turned away, to hide it from him. “You almost gave me a heart attack. You should make more noise when you move, Barnes.”

“Sorry,”

“It's fine. Anyway, I'm making breakfast. You want some?” He usually didn't cook, mainly because he was too busy and he only knew how to make simple stuff. But he really didn't feel like ordering out. Right now, it would be easier to just make some eggs. He started pulling out the stuff he needed to make it. He was sure that Barnes had had worse then his cooking. Thankfully, the other man remained silent while he cooked, but Tony could still feel his gaze on him. Once again, the man seemed to be studying him which made him slightly uncomfortable. He finished cooking and placed one plate in front of Barnes. He dug into his own food only to realize that Barnes was not eating his food. He frowned. “What's the matter?”

“You are a very strange person. I can't seem to figure you out. Every time I think that I know who you are, you do something that makes me change my mind,” 

“Listen, Barnes -”

“Bucky,”

Tony blinked at the interruption. “What?”

“Call me Bucky,”

“Why?”

“I prefer it.”

“Okay then,” Tony wasn't really going to argue with him for he had the same problem. He hated when people called him Anthony instead of Tony. Hell, he prefers Stark over Anthony too and would kick anyone's ass who called him otherwise. “Bucky, I know that we may have our ups, and most definitely our downs but for us to be able to stop Hydra we need to put these issues aside. That doesn't mean that you have to trust me, or even like me for that matter, but we do need to work together.”

Bucky stared at him for a few minutes and Tony was feeling strangely uncomfortable under the silver gaze. Tony could still see that some of his old habits that Hydra programmed into him were still there, but there was also something else. Something more, something that Tony was curious to see more of. Though he could see that was going to take a lot of work. But who was he to turn down a challenge like this? He was never one to give up and he wasn't going to stop just because of what happened this morning between them. What happened was horrible, probably for the both of them, but they could get over this. Maybe. Though this could also put a wedge between them that would be very hard to remove. Tony shook that depressing thought out of his head. 

“Who was that on the phone?” Bucky could obviously see that Tony didn't want to talk about this subject anymore so he took pity on him by changing the subject.

“My assistant. Apparently there's this company gathering that I have to go to.” Tony finished his plate and watched with slight amusement as Bucky started on his plate. He seemed to be slightly unfamiliar with eating with other people and by the way he played with his food a bit before eating almost made Tony laugh. But he didn't because he knew that would probably make things worse between them.

“You sound like you don't want to go,” He commented between bites.

“I don't. These events are horrible. And boring,” Tony grumbled. Bucky's lips twitched and Tony felt slightly better. Making Bucky smile or at least an attempt at a smile seemed to make his day better. He would have to try harder next time if he wanted a full smile. One thing was certain. That it would be a very long road of recovery for the soldier. 

“I don't think that it would be a very good idea for you to go. Crowds might not be the best thing when you don't have a better hand on your gifts,” Bucky didn't even seem bothered by this, seeming only to be stating the fact that he might end up hurting a lot of people if he went to this gathering did nothing to help his nerves.

“Its in a few days. I'm sure you can teach me to control it by then,” Tony looked at the other man nervously. He needed help with his power but he didn't know how Bucky would react to him just assuming that he would help. 

Bucky looked up at him and blinked. “Me?”

“Well, I mean that you are the only one that can help me and that if we are going to bring down Hydra together, then I need to learn how to control my power.” Tony words came out in a rush and he was sure that Bucky didn't catch the meaning of them from the look on his face. Tony sighed and placed his face in his hands. “Please, you're the only one that I can trust with this,”

Bucky gave him a strange look that Tony didn't know how to interpret. For a second, Tony believed that he would not agree and leave him to figure this out on his own. Then he did something that Tony was not expecting. He reached forward and placed his hand, his flesh one, on his forearm. He looked Tony in the eye when he spoke. “I will help you with anything you need. Just ask me and I will do it,”

Tony looked at him to see if he could see any sign that he was lying. Not that he would be able to tell. After all, Bucky was very good at hiding his emotions. But Tony could see that he was serious, that he meant every word he said. Tony gave him a weak smile. “Thank you.” 

Bucky looked surprised at his thanks but nodded to him. They sat in silence while Bucky finished his food. Tony watched him eat with slight fascination. Even though they had just met a few days ago, Bucky seemed, if not completely comfortable, calm in his presence. Which was entirely different from when they first met. He would barely speak to him, and now he was speaking in full sentences. Which, to Tony, was an accomplishment. 

“Sir, I don't mean to interrupt but Dr. Banner is on his way up and I don't think that you would want him to meet your guest quite yet.”

Tony jumped slightly when Bucky leaped to his feet at the sound of Jarvis' voice. Tony raised his hand reassuringly. “It's just an AI. He's just a computer,”

“I would think that I am more then _just_ a computer, Sir,” 

“I know, I know. I just didn't want him to freak out,” Tony looked over at Bucky who seemed to have calmed down when he realized that there was no danger. To be honest, Tony was the one freaking out right now. With having Bucky stay the night, he had completely forgotten that Bruce was here too. “Where is Bruce right now?”

“In the elevator, Sir,”

“Thank you Jarvis,” Tony turned back to Bucky who was watching him, face void of emotion. “Look, I know this is kind of sudden but could you..”

“Hide?” Bucky said with a bit of amusement in his voice.

“Yes, hide. Please. I just don't want Bruce to see you and make assumptions.” Tony looked back and forth between Bucky and the elevator. The soldier seemed to get the hint and walked towards his makeshift room. Tony mouthed a thank you towards him as he disappeared and Tony could swear that he was smiling. He shook his head and turned to the elevator, praying this ended well.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce brings some disturbing news to Tony. Some unwelcome people pay Tony a visit.

Bruce had his face buried in a tablet when he stepped through the doors of the elevator. He didn't even seem to notice that Tony was there until Tony spoke. He jumped slightly and looked up at him. He gave Tony a smile, although Tony could tell that it was slightly forced. He seemed to be bringing Tony some news that he didn't like. Tony waved to let Bruce take a seat, the one that Bucky had just vacated. Tony sent a look towards the hall and swore that he saw a glint of metal. He shook his head but he doubted that Bucky would listen to him. He looked back at Bruce, who was once again buried in the tablet. His eyes kept flicking to Tony, which was making him feel like he did something wrong and was about to be scolded for it.

“Bruce, what's going on? Has something happened?”

“We need to tell the team about this,” 

Tony's somewhat happy mood left him at this point. He glared at Bruce who looked down at his lap sheepishly. “I thought we talked about this Bruce. We _can't_. I can't. Not yet. Give me a few weeks to sort this out before we can go to them.”

“I don't think that you can wait that long.”

Tony's eyes narrowed at Bruce, who seemed to have gotten some of his confidence back and was looking at Tony with a look that Tony really didn't like. “Why not?” He asked slowly.

Bruce sighed and placed the tablet on the table between them. “Something came up during some of my tests. I almost missed it because it wasn't there before. Look here,” He pointed to what appeared to be a close up of some sample under a microscope. Tony could not identify what was wrong, which was why Bruce was the biologist not him. “The cells are holding your power but it's so powerful that it's also destroying your cells,”

Tony shrugged. He didn't understand what the big deal was. “So?”

Bruce laughed humorlessly. “You need your cells to live. It's slow now, but if this destruction of your cells go on, then you could....” Bruce looked away, and Tony could see now just how upset he was. He leaned forward and dropped the attitude. He didn't want to be an ass when something was obviously wrong. 

“I could what?” He probed gently.

“You could die,” His voice was so quiet that Tony wasn't even sure that he heard him right. “Tony, you could die if you don't find a way to get rid of your powers,”

That was not what he was expecting. He was expecting somewhere along the lines of “you could end up loosing your powers” or something similar. Not this. “How long do I have at the pace that this....whatever is happening?”

Bruce shrugged. “About two weeks before it starts to seriously affect you. A month before it becomes too much,”

Tony stood up and started pacing. He needed to think, needed to find a solution to this. “What if I learned to control it. Would it be as bad as it is now,”

“You're not understanding Tony. Your mind may be strong enough to handle, but your body is not. Your physical body is not strong enough to handle this kind of power. It's similar to what happened with your previous version of the arc reactor. It was keeping you alive, but it was also killing you with palladium poisoning. You cannot have this power without it also killing you.”

“I thought....you said that there was probably no way to get rid of this power,” Tony was on the verge of panic now. He stopped pacing, just so he could sit down and place his head in his hands. This thing is just getting worse and worse the longer it drags on. Once again, he began to wonder why Hydra chose him. Why was he chosen over probably thousands of others? What made him different?

“I did say that, but maybe someone else knows something. Like Steve. He fought Hydra before. Maybe he knows what to do. If not him, maybe Thor knows some magic that could help you,” Bruce seemed to be getting desperate trying to help Tony. Tony felt slightly better knowing that Bruce was trying to help him. He appreciated the gesture, but he was beginning to see how this was going to end. Either he was going to die because his body could not handle the power, or Hydra would get him and he would die in their custody. Neither of theses made Tony feel any better.

“We can't Bruce. Not yet. It's like you said. This thing is too unknown so the likely hood that anyone knows what to do is minimal.” Tony didn't really feel saddened by this, more like he just gave up all emotions. He didn't feel scared, or angry, just empty. He once believed that he could solve any problem put in front of him but now, there was an impossible puzzle that he can not solve. And it bothered him. “Just....give me to the end of the day to do a little bit more research, then _maybe_ we can tell the others. I want to go over some of the Hydra data that Steve and Natasha recovered to see if it has anything on it.”

Bruce sighed, but he was expecting this. He knew what it was that Tony was afraid of. He was afraid of what would happen if he did go to the team. That they would lock him away and deem him 'unstable' to be out among people. Bruce believed otherwise. After all, they invited him to the team and he believed that the hulk was a lot more dangerous then Tony's powers. He stood up, intending to go back down to the lab to do some more tests. “Okay. I'll wait but Tony remember something. I will stand by you side now matter what you choose. And I'm not the only one. Despite what you think, everyone else cares for you.”

“Thanks.” Tony nodded and watched Bruce head towards the elevator. He sighed and got up to make a cup of coffee when he heard Bruce cry out. He whirled around and saw Bruce reach around to pull the dart out of his shoulder. Tony saw him wobble a bit before collapsing. He rushed over to his side. “Bruce. Bruce come on buddy stay with me,”

He checked Bruce's pulse and was relieved to find it, a bit slow but steady. It seemed that there was only sedative in that dart. Which reminded Tony that someone else was in the room. He ducked behind a chair just as another dart flew by. Tony looked around nervously before making a decision. He needed to get Bruce out of the way before confronting this guy. _Probably Hydra again._ Tony grabbed Bruce under the arms and dragged him behind the kitchen island. It should give them enough cover. He breathed slowly trying to calm his racing heart. The only thing that he could think of was that this attack happened a lot sooner then he had imagined it would. It was obvious that Hydra really wanted him and would do anything to do it. Even drug his friend. He was just thankful that was all he did. Theses guys were making his life even worse then what it was. 

“Why can't you leave me alone?” He muttered. He was greeted with silence. He didn't really expect an answer anyway. He pressed himself to the side of the kitchen island and peered around the corner. He didn't see anything but if his past experience taught him anything, it was that he should not underestimate his enemy. He needed to know if where the Hydra agent was if he was going to do anything. He sat back, closed his eyes and cleared his mind. He focused his power on trying to sense the people or people in his rooms. It seemed that Hydra had gotten smarter and brought three agents instead of the usual one. Pulse racing in his chest, Tony's mind raced over possible escapes. He knew that he could have Jarvis summon his suit, but he wasn't going to leave Bruce and Bucky here alone with them. Wait..

_Bucky._

He should have been just out in the hallway, or he was the last time that he looked. He had to have noticed that something was wrong. Maybe he had gone back to his room, oblivious to what was going on out here. He needed to get his attention some how. An idea popped into his head and he looked around. There, his tablet. He had several lying around the tower for whenever he got bored and didn't feel like going all over the tower just for it. He pulled it close to him, and quickly typed the message, sending it to Jarvis. Jarvis would get the message to Bucky for him.

He barely had time to react when a hand reached down, grabbed his arm and yanked him to his feet. He let out a startled noise, dropping the tablet which clattered to the floor. He struggled to get out of the grip that had him but Hydra was obviously not playing around this time for Tony was not even able to budge his captor. He called out, now knowing that if Bucky didn't get here soon, then Hydra would succeed. He felt other hands grabbing him, pulling his arms behind his back to tie them together. He fought harder when they forced a cloth gag into his mouth. His kicked out, fought back, anything to make this harder for the agents. 

“Stop struggling,” One of the men grunted when one of Tony's legs connected with his side. Tony tried to curse at him but the gag had cut off any words that he was trying to say. He was _not_ going to just allow these guys to kidnap him. No way in hell was that happening. He needed to stall them for as long as they could.

_And where the hell is Bucky?_

Tony was staring to believe that maybe Bucky wouldn't come. That he would let him be kidnapped. It's not he really deserved to be saved after all the things that he's done. Maybe it would be better if he did just let this happen. After all, who would miss him? Pepper maybe, and Bruce but they would get over it. Everyone would be able to move on without him here. The feelings of depression and self – hatred that he had been trying to rid himself of, came flooding back into him. He didn't even know why he tried to keep them away. It would come back eventually and it was only a matter of time before he succumbed to it. So why not now?

The sound of flesh hitting metal pulled him out of his thoughts, and he looked up to see Bucky knocking one of his attackers off his feet. He looked over to where the other two were holding Tony. Tony felt a slight flash of fear go through him at the look on Bucky's face. He looked absolutely murderous. Like he wanted nothing more then to kill every Hydra agent in the room. He held a knife in one hand and a gun in the other. Tony wondered where he kept them, since he didn't see them whenever they had talked over the last few days. Not that he expected the soldier to be unarmed. 

“Well well, look who it is,” The man to Tony's left spoke and he could hear surprise in his voice with underlying fear. Hydra obviously didn't know that Bucky was staying with him and it made Tony feel slightly better knowing that he bested Hydra with something. “Everyone was wondering where you went. Most of them believed that the Captain had killed you.”

Bucky flinched slightly at the mention of Steve, but soon his mask of indifference was back. “Let Stark go and I might let you live,”

“So sorry. Can't do that. You see, the higher ups are _really_ interested in this guy so it's our job to bring him back with us.” The guy laughed a bit. “But imagine the reward if we bring both him and you.”

“You won't get that far,” Bucky's voice had taken a darker tone. 

“We'll see,” Tony saw both men tense and quicker then he could see, both men leap forward.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Tony face off with the Hydra agents and Tony discovers that Bucky is willing to resort to methods that he doesn't like. Also, Tony has a talk with Bruce that makes him see things differently.

They clashed with a clang, metal on metal. The Hydra agent wielded a long bladed knife and was trying to get at Bucky's weak points. Tony watched in awe as they fought, watching Bucky's graceful and accurate moves. While Bucky was all about power and accuracy, while it seemed that the Hydra Agent was nothing but strength. He seemed too slow to even keep up with Bucky. 

Tony was too distracted watching the two soldiers go at it that he had completely forgotten that there was a second Hydra agent right next to him until he felt himself being pulled away from room. He didn't think before he lashed out with his foot and connected with a thump. The man gave a curse and released him. Tony stumbled away from the man, know understanding what they were trying to do. The man was fighting Bucky not to stop him, only to distract him long enough that his partner had time to get him out of there. He turned to face the other guy, tense and ready to fight if the need arouse. He moved when the other guy did and he could see the other guy studying him as if looking for his weakness. Tony would not give it to him. He would fight, just as Bucky was. He wasn't going to be useless this time. Or any other times after. He opened his mouth to tell Jarvis to send up his suit.

Something stopped him though. As he gazed at the agent, he felt less and less tense and more calm. _Nothing was wrong here. Everything is fine._ Tony had a feeling that these were not his words, but he didn't care. He felt calm, calmer then he had in a very long time. He felt a hand grab him and start to pull him towards the exit. A feeling deep inside his mind told him that something was wrong, this whole situation was wrong. But he didn't care. He didn't want to fight it because he didn't want this feeling to leave, so he didn't. 

“Come on, Mr. Stark. We need to leave,” The man beside him. Tony let himself be pulled alongside him.

“Tony!” 

The voice sounded desperate, which made Tony look back. Bucky was trying to make his way over to him but he kept getting stopped by the other agent. Tony didn't understand why he was fighting. Everything was fine. _No it's not._ Part of his mind pushed at him, telling him that he needed to fight against this feeling or he would be lost. He didn't want to, didn't want to lose this peace. But he also didn't want to lose himself. He looked back the the man leading him away and could see that his eyes were glowing an ominous yellow and he finally understood. This guy was gifted as well and was affecting Tony with it. He started to struggle against the hold that his power had over his mind. He was becoming angry, not at the agent for he was just doing his job. He was angry at himself. For letting this happen. He should have known that what he was feeling wasn't natural. 

He lashed out with both his fist and his power which knocked the guy off his feet. Tony was glad that his power didn't flare out like it had the last few times and destroy the room. He really didn't think that he could deal with that right now. His head was starting to pound which he guessed was the after affects of the agents powers. He made sure that the agent would not get up by delivering another punch to his face. He staggered to his feet and turned just in time to see Bucky shoot the other agent. Tony tried to feel somewhat bad for the guy but he just couldn't bring himself too. They had ruined his life by attacking him and making him this way. 

He slumped down to the floor with a groan. His head was killing him and he was starting to understand how Bucky felt when Hydra was digging around in his mind. “Well, that was fun,”

“If that is your definition of fun, then you really need to get out more,” 

Tony looked up at Bucky and gave him a tired smile. “Only if you come with me.”

Bucky huffed out a small laugh but soon turned back to the remaining living agent. He was lying where Tony had hit him. Tony would be lying if he said that he didn't wish that this guy had shared his partners fate. But he had a feeling that Bucky wanted to have a chat with him, and to be honest so did he. This guy might not know what Tony needed to find out, but he still might be able to tell them something. Tony pointed to the man. “Do you think that we should tie him up or something. You know, just in case he wakes up.”

Bucky looked at Tony for the longest time with an unreadable expression on his face. Tony felt strangely uncomfortable after a moment and had to look away. Tony saw him move towards the guy and for a moment Tony saw the image of the Winter Soldier, not Bucky. Tony shook that thought. Bucky sent one last glace at Tony before turning his attention to the Hydra agent. “I can take care of him. You help your friend and rest a bit.”

“What are you going to do?” Tony felt like he shouldn't ask but his curiosity always got him into trouble before. 

Bucky paused briefly before responding, albeit hesitantly. “I'll interrogate him to see what he knows.”

“And if he doesn't know anything? Or won't tell you?” Tony already didn't like the answer from the look on Bucky's face. He grit his teeth, and shook his head. “You're going to torture him...No, you can't. I may not like the guy but I cannot allow you to torture him,”

“Even if he could give us the information that could save you?” Bucky's voice was quiet but Tony could tell that he was tense.

“Save me?”

“I heard you and your friend talking earlier. You won't survive the month before the power in you ends up killing you,” Bucky folded her arms across his chest as if he was trying to protect himself from Tony's words. 

“You were eavesdropping,” Tony tried to be upset by that, but he could not bring himself to care. 

“I..yes. That's not the point. We need to find a way to help you,” He pointed to the unconscious man on the floor. “This man could tell us something, even if it's not something that can help you maybe it's something that can lead us to the Hydra bases.”

“Maybe he can. Maybe he can't. Either way, you can't just torture him because he won't tell you,” Tony was getting angry now. He knew that it was his past that was making him unwilling to do this to another person, but he was also upset that Bucky thought that _torture_ would be the best way to go about this. He could tell that his words were not going to change his mind. 

“We need to know,” With that, Bucky picked up the unconscious agent and the body of the other one and left. Tony watched him go, not even trying to stop him as he passed. It's not like he would be able to stop him anyway.

Tony waited a few more minutes, hoping that Bucky would change his mind and come back. “Jarvis, is he still in the building?”

“I'm sorry, sir. It seems that he has left. Would you like me to track him for you?”

“No. I don't want to know. It's probably better that I don't.” He reluctantly pulled himself to his feet and walked over to Bruce, who was still passed out behind the counter. He needed to take of his friend anyway instead of running after an ex – Hydra agent who is going to torture a current Hydra agent. He bent down and dragged Bruce up until he had one arm around Tony's shoulders. Tony stumbled his way back to his room. His mind raced, trying to figure out what he was going to tell the scientist when he woke up. He would definitely have questions, questions Tony wasn't sure he wanted to answer. It wasn't that he didn't trust Bruce, he did but there was also the chance that he could get hurt if he knew all the details. Plus, who knew how he would react if he found out that he had the Winter Soldier staying with him. Or that Hydra had tried to kidnap him several times in the past week or so. He just couldn't put him in that kind of danger. 

So he settled the unconscious man into his bed and made sure that Jarvis kept an eye on him, then headed back to the other room. He looked around the room and saw the mess. He sighed and set to work. He cleaned up the blood left by the dead agent, disgusted but knowing it had to be done. He picked up anything that had broken during the brief fight. He liked working with a clear goal in mind for it allowed him to focus on that and not what Bucky may or may not be doing. He hummed some obscure song while he worked. He focused on his work so that his mid did not stray to any unwanted thoughts. He was unaware of how much time had passed before Jarvis broke him from his work. 

“Sir, Mr. Banner is starting to awaken. Might I suggest that you be there when he wakes up to prevent any extreme emotions,”

“Thanks, J. I'll go right now.” He set aside the broom which he had been using to sweep up the last remaining glass from who knows where, and moved towards the bedroom. Every step he took was harder then the last. Fear and hesitation where what made him paused before the door. Should he tell him the whole truth? Or should he leave him in the dark and save him from many bad situations that could happen if he did? He shook his head. It didn't matter. In some way or another, the truth would come out. It would only come down to how he found out and if Tony was honest, he would like it if his friend heard it from him first. He pushed open the door and stepped inside.

He could see Bruce shifting a bit as he awoke, making muffled groans into the pillows. His eyes fluttered open, looked around the room and settled on Tony who was still standing by the door. “Tony? What....hm..what happened?”

“Well, that's uh..kind of complicated,” Tony forced himself to move forward and sat at the edge of the bed. “Listen, there's something I have to tell you,”

“Hydra is coming after you,” Bruce didn't even seem surprised.

“What...? How did you know?” Tony looked at Bruce in surprise. He guessed he had not been as subtle as he had thought.

“Come on Tony. I may not be as genius as you, but I'm not stupid. I figured it out.” Bruce winced as he struggled to sit up. Tony leaned forward to help him. “I just...wish that you had trusted me and told me this sooner. We could have done something,”

“Like what? Tell the others?” Tony huffed. The winced when he realized that he had taken his anger out on Bruce. “Sorry, I just can't really trust anyone with this.”

“You trusted me enough to call and ask for help which means that you trust me enough. So that's obviously not the reason.” Bruce gave Tony a look that he had associated with Bruces way of saying 'I'm here for you'. This made him feel slightly worse about not telling him. “You just didn't want me to get in the middle and end up getting hurt right?”

“I'm sorry,” Tony mumbled.

“Tony, it's okay. I understand. I probably would have done the same thing. You just want to protect the people around you even if it means that you might get hurt. Which is probably the reason why you don't want to tell the team. Because you are afraid what will happen to everyone else if you do?”

Tony didn't even try to deny it. He could sense the truth in his words even if he tried to convince himself otherwise. Everyone could tell him that nothing bad would happen or that they could protect themselves but Tony didn't like to take the chance. After what happened with Stane, Hammer and every other bad person who tried to hurt the people he cared about because he was too smart for his own good. Bruce was right. He didn't care if he got hurt but he would not stand for anyone hurting his friends. That means Hydra. At this moment, Tony made the choice that he was no longer going to sit back and allow Hydra to do what they wanted to him. Now, he was going to fight back.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony had missed this. To be able to just sit around with friends and enjoy their company.

“So, how many times has Hydra paid you a visit?” Bruce asked as he accepted the cup of coffee from Tony. He had waited patiently while Tony went to get the coffee before he started asking questions. He could tell that Tony was having a hard time dealing with this and he just wished that Tony could see that he really did want to help.

“Hmm, not including the first time. Twice. The first time I think they just sent someone to check if I was worth 'acquiring'. The second was to take me with them.” Tony shrugged, trying to put it off as not a big deal but from the look on Bruce's face, it wouldn't be that easy. 

“Tony, you should have told me sooner.” Bruce looked disappointed, but there was no anger in his voice like Tony had expected. “Maybe I could have done something,”

“Like what?” Tony tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice. He knew that Bruce meant well, but he couldn't help feeling helpless in the situation he found himself in. “It's not like we know when or where they will appear, nor who or how many they will send. Not to mention that they also have agents that have powers like we do. So there is nothing that we can do to prevent them from sending more,”

Bruce frowned. “We?”

“Sorry?”

“You said they 'also have agents that have powers like _we_ do'.” Bruce watched him closely for his reaction. He noticed how Tony tense up and his eyes flicked to the door. There was something else that Tony wasn't telling him though it wasn't really hard to figure out what it was.

“Did I say that? I meant they have agents that can do stuff like me, not that there was another person here with powers. I mean only Hydra has people like that and I don't associate myself with Hydra. I's a super hero not a super villain.” Tony rambled moving his hands around nervously as he spoke. 

“Who is it?” Bruce asked. He knew that Tony had expected him to be angry but he wasn't. He was actually pretty glad that Tony had found someone who could give him the answers that he needed. Or at least some of the answers that Bruce couldn't give him. 

Tony shrugged. He really wanted to change the subject. Mainly because he didn't know how Bucky would react to him telling someone else of his presence here. Though, he did leave a while ago and has not returned. Tony had a fleeting thought that Bucky might not come back. He was after Hydra and their bases which he could find out from the agent he had taken to 'interrogate'. That would mean that he does not have any reason to return. 

“Tony, you can trust me with this. I won't do anything to this guy unless you tell me to.” Bruce sighed at Tony's lack of answer but was not too surprised at it. ”At least tell me that you trust him,”

“I trust him,” Tony mumbled, grateful that the scientist was not pushing the matter. He stood up from the bed. “I'm sure that you are probably hungry so I'll go get you some food. He didn't wait for a response instead leaving the room quickly. He hurried to the kitchen where he paused to let his mind calm. He couldn't believe that he was so foolish to let Bruce figure out that he was not alone in his fight against Hydra. Not that he didn't trust Bruce, he did. More so then a lot of people. But that didn't mean that he trusted Bucky not to have some kind of violent reaction if he found out that Bruce knew he was here. He really didn't want to think of want would happen if it ever came to that. 

So he set to work making some simple sandwiches for both himself and Bruce. He didn't feel like cooking a meal and if he was honest, he didn't think that he had anything to make anything. So sandwiches it was. He didn't think that Bruce would mind anyway After all, Bruce had to live with the base essentials for the longest time. He heard Bruce moving around and eventually appear in the doorway.

“I'm sorry Tony, if I have done something wrong,” Bruce's voice was quiet and Tony could hear the regret in them.

“It's fine. You didn't do anything wrong. It's just..not my secret to tell. Other wise I would tell you.” He made his way towards the living room with Bruce tailing behind him. Tony set the plate of peanut butter and jam sandwiches on the table next to the couch. He threw himself down on the couch and stretched out. He could see that the other man was hesitating near the doorway and sighed. “Come on Bruce. It's fine. I'm not mad at you,”

Bruce gave him a small smile. “I know. I should not have asked. It was none of business. I just hope that you are safe because honestly, you are my best friend, my only close friend in fact. I worry about you,”

“Thank you for your concern but I will be okay.” Tony gave Bruce a reassuring smile. “Anyway, enough about me. We haven't talked much about you in the last few days. So what have you been doing?”

They spent the next few hours talking about everything and anything that wasn't Tony's situation. Tony shared his ideas for the new jet for the team while Bruce told Tony about his encounter with a rare illness in Africa. They bantered back and forth losing track of time. Tony had missed this. To be able to just sit around with friends and enjoy their company. With the Iron Man, his company, and now this thing with Hydra, he has not had much time to himself. He was glad that he invited Bruce over. He didn't know how he would handle it if he didn't have someone to talk to. 

He was leaning against Bruce's shoulder laughing his ass off when his phone went off. He shoved Bruce playfully and picked up his phone. 

“Tony, it's me.”

Tony tensed when he heard the familiar voice of the team leader. He honestly didn't expect to hear from the Captain anytime soon. He thought that Steve and Sam had gone to look for Bucky...who was at his place. There was a possibility that Steve had tracked him all the way back to New York City. “Hey there Cap. What's up?”

“I don't mean to interrupt if you are in the middle of something,”

“No, no it's fine. I'm not busy,” Tony could feel Bruce watching him and tossed a pillow at him. 

“Listen, I think that Bucky might be heading your way, to New York.” Steve sounded worried which did not help when Tony felt guilt creeping into his mind. He knew that he should have told the Captain that his best friend was at the tower but e didn't think that Bucky would like it too much. 

“Why do you think that?” Tony was actually surprised that he actually sounded calmer then he felt.

“Just that his direction was north - east and I think that he might be trying to find someone familiar to ground himself. Or he has his own agenda that I don't know about.” Steve sighed and Tony could just hear how tired he sounded. “I'm not too sure of it but I want you to keep an eye out for him”

“Yeah. I can do that. I'll call you back if anything happens or if I find something,” 

“Thank you Tony. It means a lot to me. I'll see you when I can.” With that, he hung up. His comment stung because Tony knew that Bucky meant a lot to Steve and yet he kept him a secret. He felt like such an awful friend. He turned off his phone with a sigh.

“Everything alright?”

Tony turned to Bruce with a pained smile. “Nothing. It's...nothing. You were saying something about working with nano mites on a molecular level?”

Bruce could tell that he was trying to change the subject and even though he wanted to push, he didn't. He allowed Tony to steer the conversation away from what he wanted to talk about. Tony would come to him to tell him. Eventually.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky didn't come back in the next few days. Tony thought that he was gone for good so he didn't bother to wait up for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the late post. I got busy. Not beta'd.
> 
> Also, I didn't mention this in my earlier chapters but I think everyone already knows this. I do not own Marvel or any of the characters. I just write the plot.

Bucky didn't come back in the next few days. Tony thought that he was gone for good so he didn't bother to wait up for him. Though a few times he felt some emotions that he was sure weren't his. Tony believed them to be Bucky's because of the bond they had though they were too faint to really know what they were. Tony tried to go back to his regular routine of working and it helped keep his mind off of the situation. At least for a little while. He didn't have anymore panic attacks or mishaps with his power. Bruce helped a lot with those and Tony was glad he had such a good friend. Otherwise he didn't know how far he would have gotten without his help. So he was thankful to Bruce. 

He had fixed up several issues in one of the suits as well as inventing a new suit that was made more for speed and agility then power. Made more for reconnaissance then fighting. It wasn't really his style but who knows when it could come in handy. He had asked Bruce for his input and he liked it, though he did say something along the lines of it being to 'flashy'. It did have a sleeker look then his other suits. He thought about making it black and gold instead of red and gold. Bruce liked the idea but he again said that he would be noticed more if he did. He had also upgraded everyone elses equipment, though mostly making Clint more arrows with different features. Natasha got more upgrades to her Widow outfit, as well as better armor. He was told by Bruce that he didn't need to give him anything but Tony wanted to give something back. So he created pants that wouldn't rip when he hulked out. It wasn't easy but he managed. He enjoyed having a few days to just work on the stuff that he wanted to work on after everything else that has been going on. 

So this made him glad when Pepper called to remind him of the banquet that evening. He was actually happy to go, to be out with other people. He picked out one of his best suits, gelled his hair back, and shaved so that his goatee was just right. He had to admit, he looked better that he had in the last few weeks. Which made him curious. With everything that has been going on, he would have guessed that he would look worse not better. 

“Hey J?”

“Yes sir?”

“I've been better this week, haven't I?” Tony ran his hands through his hair again as he paced his room. Once again, he was left with time to waste and his mind was racing with thoughts that he wasn't sure he wanted. 

“Your physical and mental health seemed to have improved in the recent days. Your mood has definitely lightened.”

Tony frowned. So he was right. He was doing better now. “Do you know the reason?”

“I do not know the exact answer but you started to improve when Mr. Barnes showed up. I would take a guess that it has something to do with him,”

“Of course it does,” Tony muttered, straightening his tie one last time before leaving his room. He promised to meet Pepper downstairs in the garage by the car so they could go together. On the way down, he couldn't but think that maybe it is true that Bucky had a positive effect on him. He gave Tony a challenge, something that didn't happen too often. Bucky also made him _want ___to help. Most of the time, it was his duty as a hero to help. Or Pepper forces him to. This is one of the rare few times that he wants to help just because he felt like it.

“Tony!” 

Tony smiled at Pepper who waved him over. He ran his eyes over the silky black dress that she was wearing and smiled. Pepper always did have good taste in dresses. He gave her a hug and a swift kiss on the cheek. “Pepper. How have you been? You look amazing in that dress,” 

“Thank you Tony. You look as handsome as ever. And I've been good. The company is doing pretty well with a few bumps every now and then but I sorted it out,” Pepper grabbed his arm and led him towards the car. He opened the door for Pepper, then climbed into the drivers seat. The car purred and he grinned. He forgot how much he missed being behind the wheel of a fast car. He looked over at Pepper who was rolling he eyes at him. He laughed happily as he pulled out of the garage. 

“So, who's going to be at this party that I should know about?” 

“Just the usual big wigs. People that you have to be _nice_ to,” She gave him a look, which he gave her a smirk in return. 

“Sure thing Pep." 

“I'm serious Anthony,” 

“Ooh, use of my true name. Now that's just mean,” Though he usually hated people using his full name, he didn't care at the moment. All of the doubt and bad feelings were gone and he was feeling good with himself. “Okay, okay fine. I'll be on my best behavior.” 

“Yes you will. Because if you don't, you will have to deal with me,” 

Tony winced knowing full well that he would not walk away unscathed from it. He just nodded and focused on keeping the car on course. They made small talk the rest of the way, something that Tony enjoyed. He didn't spend enough time with Pepper anymore and wished he could. Though he knew that he job and his made it so their schedules didn't allow much freedom. So he was going to use this opportunity to spend more time with her and some of the other people he has been missing. Like Rhodey. 

“Will Rhodey be there?” 

“He didn't want to be, but I managed to convince him that you would so bored without him.” She laughed as they pulled into the garage. He left the car running when he got out, handed to keys to a valet and helped Pepper out. There was already quite a few people in the parking lot so he could only imagine the amount of people inside. “Let's just hope that you two can stay out of trouble for the rest of the night,” 

“We'll try,” He held out his arm so that she could grab it as they made their way inside. The music was soft jazz, not his style but he could appreciate it. Lots of people in fancy suits and dresses mingled around making polite small talk. 

He moved around the room with Pepper by his side, sweet talking every person they met. Many people asked him about the Avengers and what they had planned for the team. All he told them was that they were working on their team skills and he would tell them as soon as new developments happened. It was a lie, but it was what everyone wanted to hear. Most of the people in this room supported the Avengers, though he still had to convince the others that the Avengers were a good thing. It would have been a lot easier if some of the others were here but he seemed to have managed on his own. 

It wasn't until the evening was nearing the end when a man approached him. He didn't recognize him but Tony could see that he had money. He was tall, almost as tall as Steve. His salt and pepper hair was careful slicked back which matched his impeccable suit. He looked vaguely familiar but he couldn't seem to put his finger on it. 

“Good Evening Mr.Stark,” A deep voice with a slight accent he couldn't place greeted him. 

“And to you Mr...” Tony grabbed the out reached hand and shook it. 

“Stryker. William Stryker. I'm a big fan of your work.” The man, William, smiled at him. Tony shifted uneasily. This man gave him the creeps. He didn't know why but he has always learned to trust his gut feelings. He was glad now that Pepper had decided to step away to mingle with other people. 

“Well, it's always nice to meet a fan of mine.” Tony placed his mask of 'playboy philanthropist' on, sweeping his eyes over the other guy to see if he could spot anything that would give him an inclination of who this guy was. “I don't recognize you though, which is surprising because I know a lot of people.” 

“We haven't met yet. I'm not from New York but I had to come and see what type of man Tony Stark really is,” Tony could see that Stryker was scrutinizing him but tried to keep his calm. He couldn't let this guy see that he was onto him. “I've heard a lot of things about you,” 

“Oh, like what?” 

“Like you are very good at surviving in situations that seem...unsurvivable.” Stryker ran his eyes over Tony which made him want to take an immediate shower. “I wanted to see if your reputation is true,” 

“And? Have your expectations been met or have I done better?” The snarky side of him was starting to come out like it usually did when he was in stressful situations. 

Stryker laughed. “I have to admit, I'm a little let down. I thought you might be a little more....well more,” 

Tony smirked, finally seeing what this guy was really like. Now he just had to get the guy to tell him what exactly he wanted from him. “You have yet to see what I am really capable of,” 

“I look forward to it,” With that, the man turned and walked into the crowd. Tony tried to follow him but soon lost him. This guy was good, and Tony was looking forward to seeing how good. 


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when he thought he had this guy all figured out, he goes and does something that changes how he sees him.

Tony was mulling over this new guy and what he had figured out in the few minutes he spent talking to him. Which was why he managed to walk onto his floor and all the way over to the bar to pour himself a drink without noticing the figure standing in the dark. Only when he turned to make his way over the floor to ceiling windows did he finally notice him. He ended up dropping his glass of very expensive scotch. 

“Jesus, what the hell are you doing standing there like that?” He huffed, glaring at the man. Though he had a feeling that it would not do much to this guy. “J, get Dummy up here to clean this mess up.”

“Of course sir,”

He turned back to Bucky who had not moved from his spot since he had walked in. He wanted to be angry at him for leaving him but over the last few days he had time to think about it. He could see why he did it. Bucky had been a soldier who was taken against his will and turned into something else. So he would do anything to stop the people who did this to him. This, Tony could agree with but he still couldn't agree with torture. He has done a lot of bad things in his life but torture was not one of them. There were always other ways to get information. He didn't know if he would have been able to get anything his way, but he would have at least like to have been asked first before Bucky had made the decision for him. 

He waited for Bucky to speak but it seemed that he wanted to play the silent game again. “Care to share where you have been the last few days because I was starting to think you had left for good,”

He wasn't surprised when he didn't get an immediate answer. Though he saw Bucky shift slightly, his eyes flicking over to Tony. His face was carefully blank which made it hard for Tony to see what he was feeling. That made him nervous. He didn't like being in a room with someone who could kill him before he could blink. He hated how blank Bucky seemed at the moment and for a second he feared that Hydra might have gotten to him again. He moved back towards the bar to pour himself another drink but also to put some space between them. He decided against whiskey and went for something stronger. Vodka. Not really his taste but it would do good.

He was pouring himself a glass when Bucky finally decided to speak. Though it wasn't what he had expected.

“I'm sorry,”

Tony studied Bucky closely to see if he could tell if he was lying but Bucky knew how to cover his emotions. “For what exactly? Disappearing for days on end without telling me where you went? Making me worry about you? Or for what you did to that Hydra agent that you took with you?”

“All of it?” He finally let something slip in his voice. He sounded uncertain which was a new one for him. 

Tony sighed. He really didn't know how to handle this guy. One moment he could be making progress in his recovery, the next he would be cold, harsh and unrelenting. Just when he thought he had this guy all figured out, he goes and does something that changes how he sees him. He poured a second glass thinking that Bucky might need it. He picked up both glasses and moved back towards the soldier. As expected, the man didn't even twitch as Tony approached him but he didn't follow his movements with his eyes. He didn't seem cautious, just carefully aware. Tony handed the glass to Bucky, who hesitated before taking it. He didn't drink it, but Tony didn't really expect him too.

“Okay, well sit down and answer one thing for me,” Tony moved around Dummy who had showed up to clean the mess that he had made. He settled into a chair, gesturing for him to sit down as well. He waited long enough that Tony believed that he didn't hear him. He moved slowly before settling himself on the edge of the seat. He looked ready to fend off an attack. Tony would have laughed if he wasn't still upset with the man. “So where exactly have you been in the last few days?”

Bucky shifted uneasily, but his face remained blank. “I was...busy,”

Tony huffed. They were really going to do this again? Where he had to push to get the answers he needed. He knew that Bucky didn't quite trust him but he must trust him even a little because he came back when he didn't have to. “Yeah, I know that but doing what?”

Bucky finally looked him in the eye. “Finding Hydra,”

“So, the agent you kidnapped gave you information?” Tony felt an uneasy feeling growing in his stomach. He didn't want to know what the soldier had done to the agent to get him to talk but he needed to know. He needed to know so that he could help Bucky get better. 

“Yes,”

“Before or after you tortured him?” Tony couldn't help how quiet his voice was when he asked. He couldn't imagine what Hydra has done to Bucky to make him into the Winter Soldier but to know that this guy was doing the exact thing his enemies did to him, it was not a comforting thought.

Bucky huffed out a breath which seemed to be bitter amusement. “I didn't need to,”

This confused Tony. Bucky said that he got the information from the agent but didn't torture him. Which raised the question as to how he got it. “What does that even mean? How did you get the information out of him when you didn't torture him? You said you would torture him to get that information even when I asked you not to. How do I know you did torture him and are lying to me right now about it?”

“I didn't need to because he just took one look at me, got scared and spilled what little information he had.” Bucky's calm facade faded and he snapped at Tony. This seemed to surprise both of them if Bucky's wide eyes and suddenly tense body was anything to go by. He closed his eyes and calmed himself before he spoke again. This time his voice was calmer, though still edged with tension. “The information led me to a small Hydra hideout where only a few agents and scientists work. It wasn't even a real base of operations. It just seemed that they were squatting there. I broke in and tried to get information from them. They didn't really know anything besides the fact that you were gifted and had to be captured. Apparently, this goes higher up then we imagined.”

For a moment, the man from earlier in the evening popped into Tony's mind but he dismissed it. Hydra wouldn't be as bold as to send an Agent into one of his parties would they? He decided to keep silent about this for now. Unless Bucky mentioned it, he wouldn't talk about it. 

“Okay, so what now?” 

Bucky shook his head. “I don't know. This was the only lead that we had to be able to get anywhere close to Hydra.”

Tony thought for a moment before an idea popped into his head. He grinned at Bucky who gave him a weird look. “The base you found had no information on the bigger picture. So we go bigger. Find someone who really matters in the organization and question them. Since you got rid of the base they had here, they will have to send more from other bases. So we wait and see who they send.”

Bucky nodded but then frowned. “The agents that we have encountered before were just low level gifted people. Once they discover that their base has been compromised they will send more powerful, more experienced agents. They could become a problem for us, especially if you can't control your power,”

“Then they will have more information then the ones we dealt with before.” Tony hated to admit but Bucky was right. He wouldn't be much help if he couldn't control his power. He'd just be a liability to them both and would make it a lot easier for Hydra to take him. For some reason, the fact that his weakness could put Bucky back into Hydra's hands, pissed him off. He had always hated depending on people and bringing people down because of his own weaknesses. “It will take some time for them to send more agents. And in that time you can teach me to control my power.”

Bucky stood up and paced over to the window again. Tony could see the Winter Soldier fading away and Bucky Barnes coming out. His emotions were displayed in both his expressions and body language. Even though he seemed less sure of himself this way, Tony liked this side of him better. It gave him a better idea of who he used to be before Hydra got him. “I don't think that I'll be a good teacher,”

“Why not? You learned how to control yours,” Tony whined and crossing his arms in a pout. 

Bucky suddenly looked very uncomfortable. He purposely avoided looking at Tony and for a moment he believed that he had said something wrong. He opened his mouth to take back his words but Bucky spoke up before he could. “I didn't learn the traditional way. It was...the memories were placed into my head and I just knew how,” 

Now Tony felt bad. He hadn't thought about it that way. He had just assumed that he had taught himself control. This would teach him to make assumptions about this guy. “I'm sorry. I didn't know. I shouldn't have asked. I can find some other way,”

“No, no. I didn't mean that I wouldn't teach you, just that I wouldn't be the best teacher for you. My methods might be a bit strange and it might take longer then necessary but we can try,” Bucky moved back over towards Tony but he didn't sit down. “i will do my best to help you, Tony Stark, in your mission to survive,”

Tony couldn't believe that Bucky just said that ridiculous line but he could see that he meant it. He gave him a genuine smile. “Thank you, Bucky Barnes, for helping me in my mission. I surely would not survive without your help. ”

The silence lasted a few seconds before Tony couldn't take it any more. He chuckled, which turned into full on laughing. Bucky tried to keep a straight face but soon enough he was laughing along with Tony. At this moment, Tony fell in love with Bucky's laugh. It was soft and light and filled with emotion that he didn't believe Bucky had. He didn't realize that he had stopped laughing and was staring at Bucky. 

Bucky had noticed. “What?” 

Without thinking, Tony reached out and ran the tips of his fingers over Bucky's cheek where it had crinkled when he laughed. Realizing what he had done, he immediately dropped his hand. He gave the soldier a awkward shrug. “You should laugh more. It brightens you up,”

Bucky stepped away from Tony, his face strangely calm. He watched Tony for an uncomfortable amount of time before he smiled again. It was soft, gentle and Tony could tell that this smile was purely Bucky Barnes. Tony was in awe of how easy it was for him now. 

“It's thanks to you that I can smile and laugh like I used to. I don't know why but you make it easier for me to be myself.” The words came slowly like he was taking his time deciding on which words he wanted to use. This might be the most personal that Bucky has gotten with him. And he liked it. Tony had to admit that he might like Bucky a bit more then just a friend, despite what he had done earlier. “I...would like to stay here with you as long as I can. If you allow me to, that is,”

Tony finally relaxed and he grinned. “You can stay as long as you can handle my eccentric personality.”

Bucky chuckled. “I've had to deal with Steve and his insistent need to save people even if it meant getting into fights he could win. So I think that I can handle you,” He stopped talking and looked at Tony with a wide eyes.

“What? Something on my face?”

“This is the first time that I can talk about Steve without having some kind of reaction,” He looked a bit overwhelmed which Tony figured might be a good thing.

“We can stop if you want,”

“No! No, it's okay. Would you mind telling me more? It might help me remember some more stuff,” Bucky sat down again, but he didn't take his eyes off of Tony.

“Sure,” Tony relaxed back in his chair. “Well, I should tell you how me and Steve met. There was this crazy horned Norse god obsessed with world domination...”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was staring at Tony with an unreadable like he usually did when Tony did something he didn't understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the long update. I've been busy with class and work, which will probably happen for the next little while. Sorry about that.
> 
> Thanks to all those who have left comments, kudos, and have bookmarked.
> 
> I don't know if I said this before, but I don't own Marvel or any of it's characters. I just get to play with them and put them in strange situations.

The next twelve hours were spent talking and eating. Tony found out that Bucky did not like to eat while on a mission because it slowed him down. So he ordered some chinese food. A lot of it. Bucky ate quite a bit, but he didn't mind. He liked seeing Bucky eat with such...enthusiasm. He had to hold back his laughter as he shoveled down his food. He would not have guessed this guy would eat like an animal. As they ate, they talked about random stuff. About Steve, about the Avengers, about what Tony was currently working on in the lab. What surprised Tony, was that Bucky seemed genuinely interested in what he was saying.

Bucky didn't talk too much about himself after Hydra got to him but he did talk a little about before. What he remembered anyway. Tony didn't push with him because he knew how difficult some memories could be. He didn't want to push when it might make Bucky hate him. Even though he wanted to know, he wasn't going to risk it. So he talked about himself, avoiding the harder parts. He knew that Bucky would not judge him but he still didn't feel comfortable talking about it.

“Thank you for this,” Bucky said, after they had tired themselves out. Tony was ready to go to bed but he wanted to make sure that Bucky got comfortable.

“Yeah, no problem. Uh, well your room is still the way you left it. So it's yours if you still plan on staying,” Tony stood up to start cleaning up the mess they made. He would have left it, but for some reason he didn't want to let Bucky out of his sights just yet. He didn't want Bucky to slip away again. Even though he promised to stay, it didn't mean that he would. There are many reasons why he would leave. Tony would just have to make sure there were reasons to stay. 

“I'm staying. I told you that. I promise that I would stay, and I would.” Bucky stood up and grabbed his arm so that Tony would look at him. He looked serious. Not Winter Soldier serious, but Tony could tell that he wanted Tony to believe him. And he did. But Tony also knew events could change, and make someone break their promises.

“Yeah. Okay,” He said simply. 

“I'm serious, Tony. I disappeared because I needed to find answers and I didn't think of what you might think. I guess that I wasn't thinking about what you wanted, or what you were feeling,” Bucky shook his head as if shaking off unwanted thoughts. “I'm still...I can't seem to...I'm not completely myself yet.”

Tony watched a Bucky shifted in his seat. He was staring down at his hands with an unreadable expression on his face. Tony hadn't thought of how much this would be affecting Bucky. He comes to Stark tower chasing Hydra, instead coming across Tony. Who he is 'bound' to because of some weird powers that they both had. Not to mention he is still recovering from the brain washing Hydra had done. So this was probably a lot worse for Bucky then it was for him. He was too buy thinking about how much it sucked for him, he wasn't thinking of Bucky's feelings. So he should be a bit nicer to the man and try to understand that he was not the only one affected by this.

“I'm sorry. I didn't realize that,” He wanted to go into a more elaborate apology but he didn't think that Bucky would appreciate it very much. It would just bring up some unwanted memories for the man. So he decided to let it drop. He was feeling stuffed and ready for bed. He headed towards his own room, knowing that Bucky could find his own way when his phone rang. He fumbled around in his pocket to pull it out. He winced when he saw the caller id. “Fantastic,” He muttered and ignoring the curious look that Bucky gave him, answered it anyway. “You do know what time it is, don't you?”

“Sorry. I guess I didn't realize the time. I doubt that you were sleeping anyway,”

“No I wasn't but that's not the point.” Tony sighed, moving back over to the chair. He threw himself down, trying very hard not to curse. “What can I help you with, Steve?”

Tony heard some shuffling on the other end of the line before the man came back. “Listen. I was on my way back to New York when I was jumped by Hydra,”

Tony tensed, and sat up straighter. Tony saw Bucky tense out of the corner of his eyes. “What? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. Sam's fine. A little beat up, but nothing we haven't been through before,” A roar of an engine caught Tony's attention. It sounded like something big, a truck maybe. Tony didn't think that Steve owned a truck. Maybe it was Sam's. “We managed to catch one low level Hydra agent alive and the information he gave us is worrying.”

“Really? What was it?” Tony asked but he had a feeling that he already knew the answer. 

“He says that there is a major power in New York that seems to have found the one piece that will help them win this war. So even though I really don't want to ditch the lead on Bucky, this seems to be more important.”

“If the agent was telling the truth,” Tony muttered. He knew that even though it might be false, Steve would still come back just in case it was true. Which Tony believed it was. And he believed that he knew what that 'power' was. Him. He knew that he wouldn't be able to tell Steve that, at least not yet. “Okay, so what is it that you want me to do?”

Steve seemed to converse with someone else with him before he was back. “I want you to do some digging. See if you can hack into some Hydra bases. I'm bringing some data pads from the agent that we questioned. I want you to look at them when we get there,”

“You're coming here? When?” Tony looked over at Bucky in concern. He didn't know what he would do if Steve suddenly showed up. Bucky has been doing better but he didn't know if the soldier was ready to meet him yet. He needed to be careful about this.

“In a few days. We need to make a few stops before we do,” Steve said, which caused Tony to breath a sigh of relief. He had a few days to sort this out before Steve got here. “I've contacted the others and they think that it would be a good idea to have the entire team back for this. They should arrive after we do, so that I can brief everyone at the same time.”

And it just gets worse. Tony bit the inside of his mouth to prevent himself from swearing. Just having one team member here was hard enough, but if all of them come, there would be no chance that he could hide Bucky's presence from them. It could get messy, not only from him and Bucky, but for the others as well. He would have to think of something that could make it easier for everyone. Because it's not like he could just ask Bucky to leave. And he didn't want to. He liked having Bucky here not only because it made him feel safer but it also gave him someone who could understand the things that he was going through. Not to mention that he was a fun person to talk to. He may have some blank spaces in both his memory and his personality but Tony liked to help him through it. It made him feel like he was doing something good for someone else. 

“Okay then. I'll set up some rooms for everyone then.” Tony forced himself to remain calm so that Steve would not figure it out. Steve had been more perceptive then he had first thought and that had caused more problems then he could have imagined. He would have to be extra careful not to show anything when he did finally make it to the tower. “I'll see you in a few days then.”

“Yeah, see you then. And Tony?”

“Yes?” He asked hesitating.

“Thank you,” 

The click on the phone indicated that he had hung up and Tony finally took the chance to relax. He slumped down in his seat and looked over at Bucky. He was staring at Tony with an unreadable like he usually did when Tony did something he didn't understand. He tried to smile but he knew that it came out as a grimace. 

“That bad?” Bucky asked.

“Yep. It seems like Steve has found out that Hydra is in New York for something and decided it would be best for the entire team to come back. So this tower is going to be housing more superheroes that might be able to figure out that you are here,” Tony swore and chucked his phone away. The anger had just grown in him suddenly and he had a feeling it had something to do with his uncontrollable power. He focused on calming himself down so that he didn't loose whatever little control he had. “Sorry. I just....if you want to leave, I understand.”

Bucky studied him for a moment and Tony was starting to believe that was his new habit. “I told you that I would stay and I will. You need my help with your power and I need your help with Hydra. Plus, I kinda like it here. You team will have to try harder if they want to scare me away,”

“Oh don't say that. They might just do that,” Tony mumbled. He was too tired to deal with this right now. He just wanted to sleep for a month and hoped this would all just go away. He could feel his mind and words slowing down so that he ended up mumbling and slurring his words. “Thank you. For you know, staying when you don't have to. For helping me through this and telling me about what the hell i happening to me. And for just, being here. I like you being here. It might sound weird, sorry about that..”

By this time, he was already sleeping. So he didn't notice Bucky's gentle smile and how his eyes lightened up as he heard Tony's words. He knew that Tony was not really aware of his own words, but he felt better when he heard them. Tony was probably one of the most important people in his life at the moment. And he would stop anyone and anything that would try and take Tony from him.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky agreed that it would be best to start right away and Tony was glad that he decided to build this room a few months ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry! After this long, you guys probably thought I wasn't going to update. I just lost all inspiration and motivation to write this story. I guess all the comments and kudos I have been getting recently have pushed me to finish this chapter. Hopefully this is a good chapter and I thank you for sticking with me.

Tony smirked at the shocked look on Bucky's face. He did enjoy shocking him like this, though he looked a bit more surprised then Tony had imagined he would. He couldn’t wait to show him all of the other surprises that he had in mind for the super soldier. “What do you think? Is it good enough?”

Bucky breathed out a laugh, turning around to gaze at the massive room. “Yeah. It's good. Perfect in fact.”

He knew that building a training room would be a good idea. It wasn't the typical training room, like in S.H.I.E.L.D.’s headquarters. It was about a mile wide in both directions and covered in nuclear resistant plating. It was placed several hundred feet underground and was made sturdy enough that even the hulk could let loose here and there would barely be a scratch on the walls. That was the reason why he made it in the first place so that Bruce would have a place to train without fearing about the safety of others. He hasn't told the scientist about it yet which was another reason why he chose this place. Bruce did not know of this room’s existence so he wouldn't come down here. If he asks, Jarvis would tell him he's working on a super secret project or some other kind of excuse. Jarvis has gotten very good at making excuses for him.

“Okay then. How are we going to do this?” Tony had wanted to start his training right away so that he would be ready when Hydra decided to come back. Plus, it would give him better control so that he would not hurt anyone by accident. Bucky agreed that it would be best to start right away and Tony was glad that he decided to build this room a few months ago. 

“I need to see you power. Just enough so that I can get an idea on how it works. Then we’ll see how it goes from there,” Bucky was wearing a work out outfit that Tony had got him and looked a lot better than he did yesterday. Tony believed it to be the fact that he had gotten some sleep and food that wasn't take out. Tony wanted him to feel comfortable with him so that his mind could heal enough that he wouldn’t need to be so afraid of himself. 

“Do you think that’s a good idea? I mean every time I use it, it ended badly both for the people around me and any inanimate object,” Tony brushed an imaginary piece of dirt off his shirt in nervousness. “I know that we came down here to train but isn’t it a bit too soon to use it right now? Shouldn’t we do like, stretches or beginner stuff?” He knew that he had to use his powers but he couldn’t help being scared. He didn’t want to hurt the one person who actually didn’t care about the fact that he was a billionaire, or a genius. He had hoped more than once since Bucky had shown up in his tower, since he saved his life on multiple occasions, that maybe they could have more then this tentative friendship. 

“I’ll be fine,” Bucky tried to reassure him though it didn’t work. He was still scared and didn’t want to do this. Bucky seemed to pick up on his fear and sighed. “Do you want to know what happened the first time I used my powers?”

Tony shrugged hesitantly, not wanting to push this matter. He had wanted to know for a few days now, wondering if it was as hard for the soldier as it is for him. Though he couldn’t imagine that ice could be too dangerous. 

“I killed someone,” 

Tony looked up in surprise at the soldier. He was not expecting that. “What happened?”

“It happened before they even began wiping my mind, even before they gave me my new arm,” Bucky’s voice had softened and Tony was almost regretting asking. It seemed like this was a sore spot for Bucky. He didn’t want to bring up his horrific past in case it triggered something in him, something that made him dislike Tony. He just hoped this wouldn’t affect things between them. “They were not going to keep me if I didn’t survive the change or if I didn’t get a gift. I was too much of a risk, being the best friend of Captain America. When I awoke the first time, the room was freezing but I did not notice. Apparently, no one could enter the room for more then a few minutes or they would risk frostbite. The first person they sent in didn’t know this and stayed almost an hour on orders. He died of hypothermia about a day later. For some reason, they couldn’t get him warmed up.”

Bucky paused in his words and Tony realized that he had begun fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. He didn’t really seem reluctant to tell him, only giving off worn acceptance. “I didn’t know that it was me that was doing this. I honestly thought that it was a new way to break me down so that they could get into my mind. Soon enough they had gotten tired of wasting their time waiting for my power to wear off and sent someone in to sedate me. I don’t know much of what happened next. They kept me under sedation until they could...wipe me,” Bucky paused in his words and Tony knew how he felt. Talking about past horrific events were always hard for him as well. He didn’t push him. He sat silently, waiting for Bucky to find the words and the courage to continue. “Many memories after that are muddled and unclear. I don’t remember most of it but I do know that I have hurt people. Many of them were innocent. At least, by your standards. By theirs, they were guilty of making this world ‘impure’. I guess that to them, anyone standing in their way would be considered impure,”

“It’s not your fault, Bucky. You didn’t have much of a choice.” Tony reassured him, though he didn’t know if it was helping. Bucky seemed like the guy to hold onto his mistakes so that he had a reminder that he wasn’t a good person, just like Tony always di. “They brainwashed you and forced you to do those things,”

Bucky laughed, bitter and angry. “I know that but I still can’t just forgive myself for hurting so many people.”

Tony knew exactly how he felt. All of the people that had died because of his weapons, because he didn’t pay enough attention to what Obidiah was doing. He knew that there wasn’t much he could have done but he still blamed himself for what has happened to all the people hurt by his weapons. By shutting down the weapons manufacturing part of his company, he lost millions but he didn’t care. If giving up everything he had to make it better, he would. So he knew the pain that Bucky felt. 

This was not the kind of atmosphere that he had hoped for when he had invited Bucky down he so he nodded and waved his hands. “So how are we going to do this without, you know, hurting each other?”

Bucky looked up at him, his body relaxing at the change of topic. He looked around the room and pointed to the far end. “Go that way about halfway. Then try to use you gift. I’ll stay here and observe.”

“What if I...” Tony trailed off, unable to think of the consequences that it could have.

“Then I’ll help you through it. Our connection is strong enough that I can guide you through it.” He said it like it was so simple, so easy for him to believe in this connection. This connection that he still didn’t understand. It seemed to show on his face because Bucky sighed one of those ‘why are you being so difficult’ sighs that people liked to do around him. “I get it that you don’t understand this connection, but trust me it’ll work,”

“Can you at least tell me a little bit more about this ‘connection’ that we seem to have?” Tony didn’t want to rush into this thing without knowing all of the details. He learned the hard way that that is a very bad thing to do. 

Bucky nodded. “I guess that’s the least I can do. The scientists that have been studying this virus and anyone that survives it didn’t realize what this connection was until after more people started developing it. They seem to think that this connection exists so two people can find balance with themselves and with their abilities. To make it easier and to help give control. I find this a bit hard to believe because there are still many things that are left unanswered.”

“Yeah, like how does this connection form, or how does it choose the people involved?” Tony laughed, not really surprised at the lack of answers. He didn’t blame Bucky, for it wasn’t his fault. He blamed Hydra for putting this damn virus in him. So he was going to trust Bucky and hopefully learn how to control this power. He gave Bucky a nod and moved toward the center of the room. He turned back to Bucky and couldn’t help but feel slightly nervous at the soldiers expectant look. What better way to do something then to just jump right in. He closed his eyes and thought of anything that he believed would activate his powers. 

Nothing happened.

After a few minutes, he sighed and opened his eyes. “It’s not working,”

“You’re trying too hard. Like I said before, trying to force it out will not work. Just relax and let it happen.”

“Easy for you to say,” Tony mumbled, but relaxed anyway. Closing his eyes, and focusing on something that made him happy. He thought that the first thing that would pop into his head would be Pepper or work but instead was surprised that the one that instantly made him calm, was Bucky Barnes. He let his mind wander, thinking of Bucky, Pepper and anything else that made him happy. He didn’t know how long he stood there before he felt the feeling of his power welling up inside him. He didn’t panic this time, remaining calm and just feeling. He let his power flow out of him. Something was different this time, he could tell. The other times where his power had lashed out and destroyed anything and everything in it’s way. This time it felt more controlled, he felt more in control. 

He opened his eyes and if he wasn’t already so calm, probably would have freaked out. His power had spread out more than he had thought and was already halfway to Bucky. He knew that he should be worried but he wasn’t. He could feel every particle that his power touch, could feel how all the molecules fit together and now he understood how it worked. How he worked. He manipulated his power around and he grinned. He could do this after all. He looked back over at Bucky to see if he was as excited as he was. His smile fell when he saw that Bucky was staring at him with a strangely blank face. No, it wasn’t blank. He was upset. It was minimal but he could see the anger on his face. 

Why was he angry? Had he done something wrong? Of course he did. He always messes up. God, what was he expecting? He could never do anything right.

As if sensing his inner turmoil, his power reacted and lashed out. The wall closest exploded, spraying dust everywhere. It seems that even this room that was created for handling destructive forces, couldn’t handle this power. Tony’s heart froze when he felt his power reach out for Bucky, thinking that he would lose someone else he cared about.

No.

He would not let that happen. This was his fault, why not take it out on him? He forced his power to focus on himself, instead of the soldier and it worked. A little too well. His power rushed back to him, knocking him clearly off his feet. He landed on his back, and wheezed as the breath was knocked out of him. He knew that his power was no longer a threat, probably because he was having trouble staying conscious. He must have hit his head when he fell. He faintly heard someone call his name, but all that he wanted to do right now was sleep away the pain. So that’s what he did, feeling like he was missing something.


End file.
